Riz wrestles with temptation. Fig gets a promotion. A few old friends return.
Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
---
- Hello and welcome back
to dimension 20 live,
Presents fantasy high sophom*ore year.
I'm your humble game
master brennan lee mulligan
And with me as always our intrepid heroes.
Say hi intrepid heroes!
- Hello!
- Ooh, wonderful.
- Little beans.
- Little beans.
- Gang, i'll tell you what,
We got a couple little
announcements here today.
A couple promo things.
Our side quest tiny heist,
The finale of tiny heist comes
out in a couple of hours.
Five hours from right now,
the finale of tiny heist
With our friends jess ross and lily du,
And the entire mcelroy
family, is playing it.
And the thrilling conclusion
premieres tonight,
So make sure to check that out.
If you've been waiting to
binge it, you could binge it
Starting at midnight pacific tonight.
Also,
A very special trailer
Just might be appearing on the
dimension 20 youtube channel
Sometime in the next week.
- What?
- You guys are going to truly
lose your god damn minds.
- What?
- So—
- Wait, are you serious?
We did not know about this.
- I am quite—
- What are you talking about?
- I am quite serious.
- This is the first
we're hearing about this.
- I tried to look at it today.
- This is a real time reaction.
- It is bananas!
It is f*cking bananas.
So head over to dimension
20 youtube channel,
Make sure to subscribe to the channel
And also ring that bell
so you get notifications
'cause you're gonna see
a bunch of awesome stuff,
Specifically next week.
Boy howdy, get ready gang.
Also something fun for all you,
Listen, it's no secret that dimension 20
Has got the best fans in the entire world.
You guys truly, you're
the reason that we're here
And able to do this
And they're doing a cool little thing now.
We're right in the middle
of gilear week baby!
Where fanart and fan fiction
is created and designed.
Celebrating fantasy high's
very favorite sad dad.
So you can go and engage
with your fellow fans
And see all the awesome
stuff they're doing,
Up to and including hot gilear, which is—
- Wow, no.
- Does it exist?
- Temperature wise?
- Exactly!
He's just wearing like a swim suit?
- Is he burned?
- Yes, it's 35 degrees
Centigrade outside and he's demon.
Turning down that thermostat.
- There is a point where the
stories leave our authorship
And enter the world of how they exist
Amongst the people that cherish them
And if they determine that gilear is hot,
No matter how hard we try we
may not be able to stop them.
- I think fan artists your aim this week
Is to draw a gilear that is so hot
That even lou is convinced of hot gilear.
- Literally, science could not do that.
There's no—
- The challenge has been put forth.
- I'm rooting hard for hot gilear.
I believe it.
- I'm gonna start a twitter account
Just to evaluate hot gilear fan art.
- Do it.
- Incredible, we have our first—
- Why do you have a finsta?
Well, lemme tell you.
- Gilear's pouty lips.
- Speaking of hot gilear,
Gilear's feeling pretty hot right now
On the first circle of hell.
- Ooh.
- Smoking.
- Clean, solid segue.
- Honestly, that wasn't planned.
- 10 out of 10.
- Hey.
Smoke rises from craters
Across the blasted plane of avernus.
A sky of flame roiling
Sea of horror burning to
the edges of the horizon.
Aloft in the sky, a whirling
orifice of flame and smoke
Deposits an endless stream
of screaming mutilated souls
Which falls forever
into the bottomless pit
Where the spiral descending trail
Leads to wrought iron gates.
The dwelling place and dominion
Of the absent gorthalax the insatiable.
Last week on dimension 20,
Our party was split!
Fig, riz, gilear, and the
hangman were deposited
On one side of hellish
portal for a tribunal
To discuss the absence of
gorthalax the insatiable
By several devilish potentates
And a recess was called
because amazingly fig,
An ongoing streak of fig
Telling the truth very persuasively.
- Don't get used to it.
- Told them that gorthalax the insatiable
Was trapped in a gem.
So there was a recess called
And the four of them
are under house arrest,
While the rest of our bad
kids are still in arborly,
The wood elf and gnomish community
At the edge of the forest
of the nightmare king
On their quest to retrieve
the nightmare king's crown.
You see deep in the bottomless pit that
Our four companions, the
hangman, riz, fig, and gilear
Sort of have the run of
the place to themselves
As the tribunal is taking
care of some business
And doing some research in interim.
- Wait, aren't there five,
isn't there wretchrot?
- Wretchrot, yes.
For those at home wretchrot
is spelled w-R-E-T-C-H-R-O-T.
Literally the words wretch
and rot put together.
Wretchrot who is a horrifying
little scorpion tailed
Imp made of fig's own blood.
- I forgot about that.
- Begins to...
Also his wings are much
smaller than his body
So there's a lot of him flying
and kind of like dragging—
- Is he kind of like a
penguin, he can't fly?
- Yeah, he's mostly hovering.
It seems like he needs
some added propulsion
From like whipping his
tail back and forth.
The wings are just kind of
enough to keep him aloft.
- This tracks that this
would come from me.
- And you see he says,
"ah, mistress of the pit!
"and your friends and companions.
"i see you have a most fearsome goblin.
"i have been frightened
by his fearsome hiss."
- Yeah, riz has got a pretty mean hiss.
- To where would i show you in this
The demesne of your father.
- Well i guess, is there like a balcony
That looks over all
the murderers and liars
Plummeting into their death?
- "a what?"
- A balcony.
- You're sort of walking down this ledge
Where there's no railing, there's no...
- Just somewhere you could
like smoke a cigarette
And set up a quick teen
zone or anything like that?
- "you're looking for the teen
zone of the bottomless pit?"
- Metaphorically.
- "perhaps, yes."
You see that wretchrot says,
"a couple of levels down,
"right this way!"
And begins to circle you
down the bottomless pit.
As you travel further and further,
You see there's no railing
anywhere on the ledge
So you just get to a place where
There's a little kind of stony jut
That you can come out here.
You see that wretchrot says,
"you might imagine that
"safety regulations are very
minimal here in the furnace,
"no railings or anything like that."
- We'll take care, you good riz?
- Yeah, i'm extremely careful.
- Do we need him to sign something?
- "yes."
- Wait, no, no, no.
- No, no, no.
- "no, there's a waiver!"
You see a little contract
appear in his hands.
- Bad baby!
- "no, what?"
He flies off and cries over by the wall.
- Bad baby?
- Hangman?
Do you think i might actually
be safer sleeping here
With the demon in my head?
'cause the devils?
- "it may well be.
"if the shadow cat has
some ways to defend herself
"from the eyes of the arch devils
"then maybe you would be
safer with her present."
- Wait, what are you implying?
- I'm saying maybe shadow
cat can't mess with me here?
- Can't mess with you here?
- I don't know.
- You see that—
- Oh, i hadn't even considered that.
- Yeah, i might just not sleep.
- No, you should definitely sleep.
I mean, if you wanna stay up
all night that's also cool.
- Gilear speaks up and says,
"i had a moment to process
"and i want to apologize
"back there in the quarter,
"i know the reason i'm here was sort of
"to help with legal stuff and i kind of,
"i honestly choked back there."
- You kinda did.
- "the motorcycle was
a bigger help than me
"by a pretty considerable distance."
- It's okay gilear.
- "i appreciate it, i am actively looking
"for opportunities to be of more use.
"so very well."
- Yeah, you're always of use.
- Hangman goes, "hmm."
- You are too hangman?
- "ooh, i was not fishing for a compliment
"but that's actually very meaningful."
- I think hangman was just being mean.
- So many sensitive egos here.
- You see that wretchrot
looks and and says,
"i do not know of what use the sad elf is
"but i will say very
wise to bring a blood pet
"with you here to the first level.
"surely there is much blood in his body!"
- Much blood in whose body?
- Gilear's.
- Okay, baby that is not—
- "i'm sorry is my new name baby?"
- I'm not trying for it to be.
- "okay."
- You called him baby twice.
- Seems like it's that.
- Yeah, i mean it's absolutely
Baby from now on.
- Seems like it.
- "would you like to wrap
me in a swaddling glove?"
- No, 'cause that will only
solidify the baby thing,
Which i'm gonna try my best not to say.
The blood is off limits
in this party, okay?
If you need to feed anyone
you come get it from me.
- And just bites into your hand.
"this is the stuff i'm made of!"
- Oh-Ho, wow.
Oh, god!
- So messed up.
- Wretchrot,
Are there any highlights of gorthalax?
- "yes, many highlights!
"i would be happy to show
you rooms of treasure.
"dark studies with ancient
grimoires and tomes!"
- Yeah.
- The tomes, yeah.
- Yeah, lets go to the—
- You see that wretchrot
begins to fly you down.
- Riz, i have a question.
- What's up?
- I was wondering if we should,
I was wondering if 'cause
they took a recess right?
- Uh-Huh.
- I haven't been really
paying that much attention
To the lore, i've been kind of busy.
- What?
- I haven't really been—
- He took us to hell.
- I know but you and adaine
Have been doing all this research,
I haven't being paying a ton of attention
So i need to run this by you.
- Okay.
I wish we didn't come to hell.
- "why don't you just give
up the info, you narc?"
- What?
- "tell the cool girl about
"the nerd things and whatnot."
- Yeah, thanks hangman!
- "i hate when the ball rides on me."
- Well play your cards right
and i'll make sure he doesn't.
- "oh, yes!"
- How am i outnumbered
here for paying attention?
I'm being bullied for paying attention.
Where's adaine?
- I'm just wondering, okay so...
So they took a recess
and gorthalax is not,
If i were in charge,
So they needed gorthalax to
enter something in a gem,
But he needed to be special devil, right?
If i took his place, if i
became the leader here—
- Devils don't—
- Would that invalidate him in the gem?
- No, i don't think so.
The devils here aren't,
I think it's because his kingdom,
Because he's not looking over his kingdom
Because he's gone.
- But i'm saying like adaine's mom is,
Kalina is using gorthalax in the gem
Because he's powerful
but if i took his title
Would he no longer be powerful
And they would need me
in a gem to get through?
- I'm gonna say go ahead and give me
An investigation check.
- Woo!
- Pft.
It's okay, 19.
- Very much a long shot because
in most of the indications
About what the gem is for,
it's to get past a barrier.
- So they already got past, okay.
I thought that might be the case,
I just had to figure it out.
- It seems like it's more about—
- I had to double check.
- Gorthalax being high ranking
Than it is about being
anything specific about him.
Like there's a good chance that
you could've gotten them in,
You know what i mean?
- Yeah, i mean i can get into
a lot of places, but yeah.
- But maybe if you take over this
Then you can get us in?
- Oh.
- Maybe you couldn't
have gotten in before.
- Oh!
- But now you could get it.
Wretchrot?
Does that add up?
- "what does what add up?"
- Wretchrot, if i become
the thief of this—
- "no, please!"
- Calm down baby.
- "i'm changing my name to baby!
"i'm baby now."
- If i become the thief of this place,
Will i be able to move us through
To the nightmare forest, to sylvaire?
- "if you were to become the dark mistress
"of the bottomless pit, then yes.
"your mortal blood puts you outside
"the hierarchy of devil folk
"so there very few pathways for you
"to claim your father's throne, but
"is there may it be."
You see the hangman kind of
goes, "this guy's a freak."
- This guy rules.
- You see, the hangman says, "it is true,
"not all devils will seize
these thrones for themselves."
- You see wretchrot smiles
and says, "i for example,
"am simply a lonely
imp made from the blood
"of a greater devil than i
"and the fact that devil
that made me is half mortal
"lets you know how truly
lesser of a devil i am
"and this contraption
"is filled with one of the
least devils of them all."
Hangman goes, "hold your tongue!"
And you see he goes, "ah,
what if he killed me?"
- This imp is horny.
- Well, it came from my blood so.
Checks out.
All right cool, yeah
let's find those tomes.
I just had to bring that up.
- "the study of darkness."
This wrought iron gate
opens and you see before you
Mahogany shelves littered with
Black scaled tomes as though
in the scales of serpents
And dragons wrought in gold.
You see that there is a
little roll top writers desk
With a very evil little pot of ink
And a very evil jet black
quill and you see a fire place
With a smoldering pile
of embers at the center.
- I light my cigarette.
- And you see,
You look around and see—
- I was just about to
say don't touch anything.
- This is my dad's stuff.
- Right, right.
- This is literally, this
represents half of me.
- This just seems like it
was made to corrupt me,
Like i'm gonna grab some weird book
And then disappear into a book.
- I'll just knock you out if you do.
- Okay.
Okay, deal.
- You see...
Wretchrot turns around and says,
"indeed, many tomes there are
"that would steal one's soul here,
"but there is also a
sizeable collection of tomes
"that would do no such
thing and simply contain
"eons and eons of infernal
precedent and common law.
"there's also a small fiction section."
- Ooh.
All right, what are you looking for?
- I guess i'd like to look around
And see if there's anything about
This unnamed god or the
shadow cat or anything.
I would think if the
devil's opposed to demons
Then there might be
some info on the demons.
- Cool.
Is there anything else you're
looking for while you're here?
- I guess also to find
out if we can get fig
To take over for gorthalax
So he can get us into the woods.
- Seems like a pretty slim chance
That i could do that though
since as he pointed out,
I'm half mortal and therefore lesser.
- Go ahead and give me
an investigation check.
- I'm not rolling good.
16.
- 16.
- I'll also do an
investigation, just in case.
- Here we go now.
- Here we go.
- Here we go, here we go now.
Can baby give fig advantage?
- If anything baby
would give disadvantage.
- Got a six.
- Six, okay cool.
- All is right with the world.
- I mean with baby's disadvantage?
- Baby's just screaming while
we're going through the books.
- Okay.
Gilear rolled an 11.
As you begin to sort of parse through,
With 16 you don't find anything
about the shadow cat here.
This is obviously a smaller
library it looks like.
This is not the most exhausted
infernal library in the world
- Is there any like, i really secretively
Look and see if there's an
infernal dating advice books.
- Infernal dating advice books?
Give me another investigation check.
- 17.
- Yeah, you see that there is a book,
There's an ancient tome that is written
In very archaic but it's a book for devils
That have been promoted
into their equivalent of
Succubus and incubus roles
On how to seduce mortals
and capture their soul.
There's some really graphic
sexual diagrams in it
That look painful and bad
And usually are like the
easiest way to draw out the soul
Is either through the eyes or the penis.
And you're like this is hard,
this is not fun or good.
- I put it away.
- You toss that away.
You see that riz, you found
some interesting stuff.
- Okay.
- There is an entire series
of encyclopedia esque books
That are about coup law.
And you see that basically what it is that
There is a legal structure in
place within the nine hells
That allows for coups, in fact,
They seem to be very encouraged.
- Okay.
- And there's a whole legal way of dealing
With a devil killing another
devil to assume their spot.
There might be some fruitful
stuff here to look at.
- Okay.
- So i guess i'll grab it.
- Yeah.
Grab it.
- I mean i already did
my investigation check,
Assuming i can't look in it now?
- You can't look in it right now,
But you found some interesting stuff.
Wretchrot says, "if you would
like to look at the hot tubs
"there are also some other
wonderful highlights,
"treasures of your fathers
and other various things."
- Yeah, let's go look at some treasures.
- Sweet.
- You grab a couple
books under your thing,
Head off and you go
back out under the ledge
Walk down, another giant
gate opens up and you see
A huge hall opens and this one is
Built into the red stone.
It's like dusty and sort of rough hewn
And you see that there
are seven suits of armor
Holding weaponry and you see that
They gleam with intense infernal light.
- Don't touch anything.
- Each of the armors
also comes with it's own
Sort of like weaponry on it.
- I start flicking one of
the wheels of my skateboard.
- They all have different what?
- Different weapons on them.
You see that they're all
like very different colors
By the way too.
And the one directly in,
So there's sort of three facing each other
And one that is like the primary one
That is this insane bone
white skeletal armor
With a huge underbite tusk-Maw thing.
And you see that the weapon
that the armor is holding
Is like a massive spiked net.
The weapons are all weird kind of looking.
As you look at them, wretchrot says,
"welcome to the hall of sin
"and herein lie the armors of sin,
"one for each of the seven.
"and your father's prized armor,
"the armor of gluttony of course."
- Right.
- "hungry, hungry boy.
"yum, yum, yum."
- Jesus.
- Hey riz, i wanna message just riz.
It's kind of f*cked up that
this is half of me, right?
This is bad.
- I think it's more hell
And it being a little blood monster
Than it is you.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Message over.
I still look haunted.
- So you look around,
There's a suit of armor
all made of mirrors,
There's a suit of armor
all in brilliant gold
With this enormous f*cking halberd.
There's this giant red armor
That has two double sided flails,
Like scourges that are all types of sh*t.
- Which one is lust?
- You look at the lust one,
The lust one is jet black,
It's black leather stitched together
With a zipper over the mouth.
- Ooh!
- It's like this intense kink armor.
- Don't you feel like
kristen would love this one?
- Wretchrot, not that i trust you at all,
But if we touch any of this
We're gonna like die right?
- "die and go mad!"
- Cool, cool.
- He looks around, he
points at the bone white one
And the armor of gluttony,
he points at the gold one,
And says, "the armor of pride."
He points to the one
you're looking at and says,
"the armor of lust.
"if you were to don the armor of lust
"the power of that sin
would flood your body,
"make you invincible, unstoppable,
"but the armor will find
the lust inside you,
"prey on it, drive it to the forefront
"of your mind and soul!
"take you over.
"perhaps you would win the battle,
"but you be irrevocably lost forever.
- Can we touch the armor
without putting it on
Or is the mere act of touching
it corrupting in its own?
- "touch it!"
- Why do we wanna touch the armor?
- Because we can convince
someone else to put it on.
- What?
- "you should touch it!"
- Why?
Okay, if we're gonna
touch any of the armor,
But we shouldn't touch any of it,
Your dad's armor makes more
sense than horny armor.
Riz says that really
quietly, "horny armor."
- I wasn't thinking about
touching the horny armor.
I was thinking yes, this would be
A nice christmas gift for kristen.
- Gilear says, "i have
discovered the weapon
"of the armor of lust and i am upset.
"we should leave this place at once."
- Should we?
Gilear?
- "yes?"
- No, i don't...
- What, say what you wanna say.
Here, i'll message you.
- Do you think gilear
needs some new armor?
- I know, that's what i was wondering too.
- But he would die.
He would die.
- What, but okay.
Think of what sin would he
be the most protected from.
Anger?
- Would he just become like a sex machine
If we give him the lust one?
- "it's been quiet for a moment
"and i can tell you're messaging.
"i'm not going to put on the
kink armor, please stop."
You see wretchrot says,
"ah, there are more
treasures yet to show."
- Yes, let's look at the other treasures.
- Okay yes, show us more treasures.
- "you've been talking about
the lust armor for awhile."
- I can already see the fan art.
- You see he says,
"and there is no part of
my body that is eraghenous.
"i have no way to get these feelings out."
- Oh.
That's sad.
Here, i guess i try
and put more blood on—
- Gilear stops you and says,
"don't give him stuff to do
stuff with, that's fine."
- I was trying to build
him some more parts.
- We could do it after we—
- "wretchrot doesn't need parts,
this is not the priority."
- Drop off parts for
wretchrot right before we go.
- Okay.
- When wretchrot has the place to himself,
Wretchrot can go nuts.
- He can hump the floor.
- He can hump the floor.
- Baby!
Baby home alone?
- All right, let's keep looking.
- I think also baby's probably—
- You see wretchrot
brings to some chambers,
You see that these are more,
They're almost like
infernal romance novel.
There's silk beds, it's nice here.
There's a little wash
basin with cool water
And this one is white marble
and mirror masquerade masks
And there's like ooh, it's like
sexy venetian infernal here.
- I like the mask.
- Wretchrot brings you to these quarters.
You can go ahead and make another.
- This is hot, this is like
tom cruise getting laid.
- I was just thinking
how there's nobody worse
To go to hell with than riz.
He's just like let's not touch anything.
- Go ahead and make
another investigation check
As you are looking at the book.
- You know what i'm gonna
roll with my little beans—
- Yay!
- Little beans!
- Beans, bean, beans.
- The little beans suck.
- Oh no, you rolled a—
- I can i roll an investigation check?
- 20, right?
- Or should i not?
- I only got a 16.
- 16, yeah go for it.
- What'd your beans say?
- 16 as well.
Oh!
Toe to toe.
- Cool.
- I'm just a little frazzled, that's all.
- Still thinking about the lust armor.
- So riz, what i'm
gonna roll that 16 as is
I'm gonna let you roll again later
But it's just that you
have so many of these books
And you're going through and
they're kind of fruitless,
So it's just you're like
hacking away at it basically.
Cool.
What do fig and gilear,
I guess you guys are
also looking at books.
- Yeah, what are these
venetian masks about
Or is this just decor?
- You see that wretchrot
says, "each of these masks
"belongs to one who thought
that they could claim the throne
"of the bottomless pit.
"now they watch as their
hubris is punished forever!
"it doubles as decor!"
- I see that, i mean
true that, it looks good.
- You look out and see,
Gilear takes a book,
After a certain point
i think fig and gilear
Get kind of tired.
Wretchrot brings you food.
Oh, as you go through the
mirrors of this place,
Make a perception check.
- Oh boy.
- Oh boy.
- I might have okay perception.
Nope, i don't.
17!
- Cool.
- 11.
- As you are walking through here,
You see a long mirror through a hallway
And there's a moment where,
Do you have any disguises active on you
As you move through here?
- No.
- So there's no illusion to you.
You see that wretchrot flying
Just looks like a drop of blood,
Like his reflection is
sort of what he started as.
As he moves along, so it
looks like it's not only
This mirror might be like
a home security thing
Of like showing illusions
and shape change things.
- Is shadow cat with me?
- In the mirror?
- Yeah.
- You do see kalina walking after you.
- Ooh!
- Oh!
No!
- Hey bitch!
- You're in hell!
- Kalina looks over at you,
Smiles, waves from the mirror,
And you see that she goes...
And appears not only in the mirror,
But in your vision in the hallway.
Looks at you and says,
"nice books."
- Thanks.
- She says, "you're having a
hard time figuring them out.
"i'm gonna go out for a constitutional,
"take a walk near the ledge."
And you see that she
walks out of the hallway.
You guys hear the hangman
go, "what's going on?"
You see that the motorcycle's
here in the hallway,
In the mirror there is
a completely hairless
Soot covered jet black
dog with burning eyes
And burning light coming out of his mouth
Like a big, almost like hyena body style.
His front paws and legs are big
And his back kind of slopes down
From a big ridge on his back.
- Hangman, this is your true nature.
- "what?
"oh!"
- This is who you really are.
- "oh, oh no!"
- Its' so cute.
- "no, no, no, i'm not cute!"
- I scritch his chin.
- "stop it, i have no chin,
"i'm not a dog, i'm a motorcycle!"
And you see he scoots off.
But yeah, you see that when wretchrot
Was referring to the least devil,
It looks like the hangman
was originally a hellhound.
- Oh, cute.
- Aw.
- I wonder what the van was.
- Baby and doggie.
- I have a doggie.
- A children's book.
- Cool.
- Oh yeah, is there
anything that we haven't—
- Oh, can we just, i
just wanna dump my money
And see if there's any
illusion in my cash.
- Yeah, what we're we looking for,
We're looking for a spell book.
Oh, i hold the books
in front of the mirror
Just to make sure there's
nothing weird in there.
- All looks good to you.
- All looks good.
- What about my coins?
- You hold up your coins...
No, you don't see any
illusion or shape change
Or anything like that on your coins.
- I hold up the picture to the mirror.
- You hold up the picture to the mirror,
Oh now hold on.
Now i've gotta actually...
This is a complex enough thing
That i've gotta actually think about this.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- We'll stall while
brennan does some math.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Guys, how was your week?
Any fun stories?
- What other things do we have
to hold up in front of this?
- In the mirror you don't see kalina.
- Okay.
- So it is, she's in our minds.
- Yeah.
sh*t.
Wait, i just wanted to ask you
Are you okay that we hold up
This picture of your dad all the time?
- Oh.
- It seems like a really
messed up thing to have to do.
- Oh, that's really nice.
- Literally every single day.
- Oh no, it's great.
I like seeing my dad, he's
been gone for a long time.
- Okay.
Just had to check in.
- Thank you.
- You hear a voice in your ear riz say,
"do you wanna see your dad again?"
- Oh-Ho-Ho.
- This is classic devil shenanigans.
I mean yeah, yeah.
- Who are you talking to?
What's going on?
Yeah, what?
- You hear the voice in your ear say,
"tell fig, gilear, and the
motorcycle and the deal's off.
"it's not an illusion.
"he's really here and i can
really show him to you."
- Oh.
- He's really here.
If he's really here—
- She says, "they're on to you right now.
"don't talk to me for another
20 minutes, shake 'em."
And then her voice vanishes.
- I'm gonna just really secretly
hold my little ayda feather
In the mirror just to
see what it looks like.
Is it just a feather?
- A beautiful brilliant
golden orange feather.
- Okay.
- Why don't we get...
I'm gonna go grab a lot of stuff
And just kind of put it
in front of this mirror
And see if there's any other illusions
Or anything i can figure out.
- Yeah.
- If you guys wanna—
- "very well, i shall set up on the sofa
"and see what's happening
in the kitchen here.
"i don't know that they will
have what i need for frittatas
"but we can always try."
- Yeah.
You said you're not useful.
- "ha!"
You see that the hangman says,
"i shall assist in this
endeavor as well but",
He says, "i will guard this
dwelling place mistress faeth
"against any incursions
from demons or devils."
- When we're down here you can
call me fig the infaethable.
- "ah, a title!"
You see that wretchrot says,
"mistress let me show you
"to all of the amenities of this villa
"within the bottomless pit."
- Villa, okay.
- "can i ask a question?"
- Yeah.
- "if i had extra parts,
where would they go?"
- I guess i'd let you decide.
- "ah, incredible!"
You see he flies off.
And riz you go to get some more stuff?
- Yeah.
- You go to get some more stuff.
We're gonna cut back to arborly!
- Wow.
- In the misty woods of arborly,
Morning has come on the following day.
Kristen and tracker, ragh, sandra lynn,
All awake along with gorgug and fabian.
And adaine has been out of
trance for a little while.
So adaine,
Yeah.
- I'm just doing this face at everybody.
- What?
- What?
- What?
- What?
- No, i can't say.
- Did you see what they're doing in hell?
- No, i can't say.
- Wait, what happened?
- What's going on?
- What?
- Did you kiss someone?
- No, hmm, no but...
Okay, so you know how ayda disappeared
And like fig disappeared.
- Uh-Huh.
- From the crab party?
- Yeah.
- Jerk!
- They just missed like the little, no—
- They weren't there for shrimp tower.
- Oh, they weren't there for shrimp tower.
- No.
- Oh yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, you wanna know where they were?
- Where?
- I can't say but maybe you can guess.
- We're they at the lobster tower?
- Oh.
- No, they weren't
At the lobster tower.
- They were at shrimp river.
- Shrimp river.
- Shrimp river.
- They must have been at shrimp river.
That makes sense, ayda would love—
- Yeah, yeah.
- They were at smooch central.
- Where's that?
- Where is that?
- Wait, what?
- Where's smooch central?
- Where's smooch central?
- Wait are you saying that—
- Up a tree!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
- Wait.
- Fig got their kisses?
- Fig was kissing ayda?
- Oh, she got kisses in.
- Tracker, "oh my god!"
- She got kisses in.
- "oh my god!"
- What?
- What.
- What?
- The family grows.
- You see tracker.
- You me and ragh, just like ah.
- Hoot, growl, hoot, growl.
Yes!
- Fig got her kisses.
- Wow.
- Wow.
- Wow.
- "that f*cking slaps so hard!"
- That's amazing.
- Right?
- How do you know this?
- Ayda told me.
Oh, she also god, she
told me some other things
And i fully don't remember them.
She's working on plane shift
And she told me something about the rune
Maybe that she was going to research it
Or maybe she already knew about it.
All of that information fully
got wiped from my brain.
- You came with the most important part.
- I think so too.
- You had a pretty solid piece of info.
- I don't care about the rune.
- I don't, honestly, me neither.
- I don't wanna hear
about the rune ever again.
I only want to talk about—
- So frankly, bringing up the rune
In this context is hom*ophobic.
- Yes.
- I would agree.
- You're right, you're right.
I apologize, as an ally
i'm always learning
And you're right.
- Do you guys think fig is
gonna be a different person now?
Like now that she got
her kisses in it's like,
She's all like—
- I don't know.
I mean, fig is always
getting her kisses in.
- She kissed a lot of people.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, oh wait.
Did she fool ayda?
Did she look like?
- No, it was really fig.
- Whoa!
Hold on, wait.
Like not a doctor, not a firefighter.
- Not a a city ordinance—
- Was she hilda hilda kissing?
- She must have been hilda hilda.
Did ayda mean that she kissed hilda hilda?
- No, ayda said she kissed fig.
Unless right at the last minute
she turned into hilda hilda
And then back again so
that ayda never saw.
- When her eyes opened up again?
- Which i fully, i don't know.
- We don't know.
- I don't know adaine,
this seems too crazy.
- I know this is the craziest thing,
Literally the craziest thing
that has ever happened to us.
- Would you guys kiss hilda hilda?
- We never saw her.
- I guess i don't know
Who hilda hilda is.
- I don't know what she is.
- Yeah, i've only heard about hilda hilda.
- I just kind of-
- 'cause my answer is
yes just on a gut level.
- Moving from here you're like oh yeah.
- Just moving from here.
- See tracker goes, "oh god,
"she showed up when we
were doing crab king
"and went straight to the hot tub."
- I said i was gonna get
in the hot tub with her!
Oh, i'm so embarrassed.
Why do i never read these things?
- To do what?
- Yeah, why is it weird for her
To go straight to the hot tub?
- Oh man.
- Oh dear.
- It's something else.
- Okay.
- All right, anyway.
- You see that your phone blips gorgug
And you see zelda says,
Zelda sent you a text being like,
"how's the quest going?"
- Oh my god.
- Who are you texting?
- Oh yeah, my phone works now.
- Wait, what?
- What?
- I got my crystal to work.
- Nevermind, i'm not surprised.
- I figured it out, i
figured out how to access
My parents satellite and so that's—
- So we can text anyone,
we can text aguefort?
- Oh!
- Yeah, you can use my phone.
- Yeah, can we please call aguefort?
- Sure.
I gotta be honest, might
be way over on minutes
So i'm gonna have to—
- All right well
- We're gonna have to
Pull some resources.
- Well actually what i can do is—
- I'm gonna get these
pretty bad overage charges.
- Oh, she taught me a new spell
Where i can, okay.
I'm gonna sending arthur aguefort.
- Okay.
- And i'm gonna say—
- I can also call him if it—
- Yeah, why don't you call him?
You're right, i should
probably not waste spell slots.
I'm just so excited to use this new spell.
- This can be settled up later 'cause i—
- Right, we can take—
- Yeah, we'll settle up later.
- Yes.
- I text zelda back like—
- 'cause you got all
Those ingredients as well.
- Got some possibly juicy gossip.
- Wait!
- Betrayal!
You are all scoundrels and betrayers!
- You don't know any of this.
- You're not here, we were
quiet for your scenes!
- Zelda just sends back
A bunch of exclamation points in a row.
- It's kind of the thing where
i feel like i should wait
To let you know just in case
it's like wrong or something.
- She goes, "yeah, totally,
"i might have heard the same thing though.
"what did you hear?"
- Oh!
- What?
What!
- It's the oldest trick
in the book gorgug!
- You hear anything about fig or?
- This is informational sti!
- You get back all caps, "fig and who?"
And in the little chat function,
You see a bunch of the other seven maidens
Become active online in the side bar.
- Okay, i don't know...
I'm gonna sit on this one.
- You see that zelda says, "of course,
"i would never want you
to rat on a party member."
And a bunch of chat bubbles
from the other seven maidens
Show up on your thing being
like, "this is bullsh*t",
"spill, spill!", "give us the tea."
- I don't know what to do.
Anyways, we got business, duty calls!
- Call aguefort and tell
him his daughter kissed fig.
- Cool.
The phone rings and after
a ring or two you hear,
"hello, you've reached the
desk of arthur aguefort."
- Hello, okay.
- "hello?"
- Are you on the phone?
- "this is a voicemail recording."
- Oh, it's a voicemail.
- "no gorug, it's not.
"it's me on the phone or is it?"
- Is it arthur aguefort or
is it arthur aguefort's desk?
- "this is arthur aguefort,
"but it could be arthur aguefort's desk."
- Oh dear.
- "for arthur aguefort, press one.
"for arthur aguefort's desk, press two.
"for arthur aguefort's
cupboard, press three."
- What was the third one?
- I'm gonna go one.
- One?
- One is for him.
- Okay.
- Although maybe his desk
is less impenetrable.
- He says, "hello arthur
aguefort speaking."
- Hey, it's gorgug, i just had
to talk to you for a second.
- "gorgug, my boy!
"how goes it with you
and the other bad kids?
- Are you there?
I just can't really,
something feels like—
- I grab the crystal from gorgug.
Hi, hi, hi,
Mr, dr, professor aguefort.
Long time no, anyway,
The money that we got from kalvaxus,
We think that one of them,
The coins might have
secretly been one of the—
- I take the phone.
Hey what's up, it's fabian.
Anyway, so essentially
here's what's going down.
We got a bunch of gold and we
think that one of the golds—
- Wait a second, actually,
While you're saying that me, tracker,
And i grab sandra lynn and ragh
And i'm like, hey we should
all go stand outside.
- Oh, you see that they
all nod and hell yeah.
- And we all walk out.
- Kristen applebees!
- Hell yeah, you guys all step outside.
Cool, fabian.
- There's a bunch of gold
And we need to pick the right gold,
I toss the phone back to gorgug.
- So, you hear that?
- There's a rune, there's a
rune in one of the minutes,
The spell book.
- "there's a coin that has been introduced
"to the hoard of kalvaxus?"
- Yes.
Was the money that we got
directly from his hoard
Or was it some sort of,
Well this is the equivalent
in today's money kind of deal.
- Did it get laundered somehow?
- "i'm afraid the question's
rather more complex than that.
"you are familiar with the
old philosophical saw of
"how many planks of a ship
do you need to replace
"before it is a different ship?
"correct?"
- Yes.
- "well in a hoard—"
- One of my favorites.
- "in a hoard it is
much the same conundrum.
"if money goes into or out of a hoard,
"is the money that was
one time in a hoard,
"still a part of the hoard or not?"
- Oh no.
He was spending that money?
- "dragons loathe spending their hoard,
"but there are moments, kalvaxus
was unlike most dragons.
"he had imperial ambitions.
"many dragons are happy to simply
"lord over a domain within flying distance
"and gather as much treasure as they can.
"kalvaxus attempted to control the world
"and as such he actually
leveraged his hoard
"into the economy of many nations.
"you remember that his hoard
was completely transferred
"into a bank by the end.
"so the gold that was,
"his hoard was at a certain time
"simply numbers on a ledger of a bank
"and was that way for some
several hundred years."
- Oh, how do we even begin to find this—
- Coin, yeah.
- Aguefort has a very high arcana
And rolling an actual 17 won't hurt, says,
"the coin being presented.
"hmm.
"do you have any arcane research
"that would suggest to
you that definitively
"the coin is the only problem?
"i know that as you were saying that
"that was the introduction
of the magical effect.
"do you have any proof
that the magical effect
"would have been restrained
to just that coin
"upon it's introduction?"
- What do you mean, that
it would only be one coin
And not several coins,
is that what you mean?
I don't quite understand.
- "rather, it might've
started as only one coin,
"but do you have any understanding
"that it would not have spread?"
- Oh, in some sort of...
- Like the coin infected
All the other coins?
- Like the plague.
- You see he says,
"yeah, that's well."
- Interest?
- "possibly."
You see he says, "well, i'm glad that
"you're bringing this to me
"and i'm glad that you've taken my warning
"about dragon madness seriously.
"it sneaks up on you, it's a
very sneaky curse like that
"but importantly it's
something that takes time
"but does begin to wend
its way into things."
- What?
- Hmm?
- What did you say?
- Dragon madness.
- Yeah, dragon, you said
that like it was a thing—
- "i mentioned it to you."
- Did you?
- He did.
- Well yes but you also say insane,
I mean some other interesting things
And you say piles of things
And none of us remember
the dragon magic thing,
The dragon madness.
- "oh, so i sort of prattle on right?"
- No, no, no, you just say
so many interesting things
That—
- "like when i gave
that very rambly speech
"in your freshman year about
how important time magic was
"and that my tea tasted bad?"
- Yes, but you also said that
In the middle of other things
And you said it in a voice—
- My mind is like a sponge.
- "i don't know,
"i think i have a pretty good track record
"of saying important things,
"that's what i would say."
- So the spell book was
turned into coins, right?
Or is that correct?
- Yes.
- Can i describe the rune to him?
- Yes, you can absolutely.
- Great i don't know
what it looks like but—
- He repeats back a lot
of what ayda said to you,
Which is it's like a meta
magic abjuration that—
- Oh right, the curse within the curse.
- Curse within the curse that basically
It's like that it's a zip file
So it's curse contains
a lot of other magic
And it then rides under a
larger more static curse.
- Dragon madness is a thing that's on
If you hold the money of a dragon?
- "if you have come into a dragon's wealth
"knowing that it is
from a dragon then yes."
- So dragon madness is contagious?
- So maybe the dragon is
the, and that's a curse?
- "yes."
- And can it be removed,
is it a removable curse?
- You see he says, "it
is a very weak curse
"but as a result of that
almost impossible to remove.
"it takes a long time to work its way,
"it can take years to take effect,
"because it is so gradual and hard to miss
"it's actually quite implacable.
- But?
- "well nothing is impossible,
"it just is a matter of
straining the right you know."
- Hey, i have an idea.
What if we give all of our money—
- No, no.
- Come on.
- Just somebody.
I don't know the people
Who work in this village or something.
- We don't have all of our
money with us for starters.
- I have all of my money
with me.
- Well some of us aren't that strong.
It's extremely heavy.
- Carry all my money.
- I have 238 gold with me.
- I have 20.000.
- Are we able to take it back afterwards,
Because i'm not in the habit
of just giving away money.
- I didn't think so.
- I mean you can give away your money
And you're still very rich.
If i give away my money,
i don't have parents.
- Oh, so every rich person
has to give away their money?
- No, i'm saying that
i don't have parents,
That's all the money that
i have, i'm in school.
- Fabian, tread lightly.
- All right, i just wanna say,
I don't think rich people
should be expected to do,
Take care of everyone.
- But they should be taxed
appropriately, right?
- Nobody is saying that.
- No, no.
- I'm saying that if you
give your money away,
It's not a big deal, if
i give my money away—
- You dog faced pony-
- I think if you let rich
people keep their money,
They'll spend it and that way
poor people will get money.
- You literally have islands
in the sea filled with money
That you don't tell anybody about.
- Yes, of course i do.
I think every good rich person does.
- Good.
- Good.
Good at being rich.
- What tracker, what?
- If rich people spent their money
Then how would they be able
to call themselves rich?
Isn't the whole point of being rich
That you're not spending a
tremendous amount of money?
- You know what kristen, tag-Team,
I don't want to be in this van anymore.
I'm gonna go buy myself
something nice, i don't know.
- I wonder.
We all kinda divided the hoard
Just as an experiment.
Maybe i'll give away all my money.
Does that make any sense?
Maybe we won't know now, but i don't know.
What am i gonna buy?
- You can get all kinds of things.
- What?
- Something cute for zelda.
- That'd be nice.
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah i guess i could buy something.
- New seats for the van.
- Could use that.
- Maybe some wings for
the van, pretty rad.
- That'd be awesome.
- As you guys dwell on
That
Potential,
We're going to cut back to hell.
At the edge of the bottomless pit.
Riz gukgak, licensed detective.
You were gonna go out get some things
To put them in front of
the mirror of illusions
And maybe see what's what.
- I'm just upstairs if you wanna talk.
- Yeah, can i...
Ooh.
I kind of want to,
I wanna make sure that
when i meet with her
That it's here in front of the mirror
Or i have the mirror with me.
The mirrors are really big, right?
- It's really big, give
me an investigation check.
- I've been rolling so bad.
All right, that's great, 25 or 26.
- You find a tiny little sliver of mirror
From like what must have been
a broken mirror somewhere.
When you put up your photo
you see it has that property.
It's kind of hard, you
can't see a lot through it,
But it's enough to give you a hint
That something might not be there.
- I just want to, i yeah.
I know this is classic trickery
But my father was eaten by kalvaxus
So it is possible that
he would be in hell.
So i'm going to bring
a little mirror with me
And i will go out to meet the shadow cat.
- f*ck.
- You walk out and the moment you walk out
Kalina is leaning against
the outside of the doorway.
"mr gukgak, pleasure
to have you out here."
- Where's my dad?
- "to business, right this way."
And she begins to walk down the ledge.
- I am going to okay,
I'm like going through my head
Trying to make sure she
doesn't kill me here.
I think she can't.
She could paralyze me and
knock me over the edge,
So i'm going to,
We're like on like a
mountain kind of or like?
- Think of it as almost
like if there was just a pit
But carved into the
outside was a spiral road
In the side of the crag
that spiraled down and down
And down along the outside.
- I would like to,
Presumably i have some like
adventurers tools on me.
- Yeah.
- Okay cool.
I would like to tie a
little rope around myself
And nail it into the wall.
- Is this loud, do i hear this happening?
- I'm gonna say no
because right next to this
Is thousands of screaming souls
falling forever into a pit.
- So i open the, ah beautiful.
- You see that, kalina
looks over and says,
"you think i'm gonna
knock you into the pit?"
- Maybe.
- "that makes me feel really great.
"if you think that's a worry,
"then i feel like i'm doing
my job, that's great."
- Well i'm just gonna be safe, okay.
- You see kalina begins to lead you down,
Looks and says,
"so that's a pretty neat trick
"that kristen pulled on that van,
"that's pretty powerful magic.
"i'm just making conversation.
"i know you think i'm trying
to ply you for answers.
"i'm just saying she's a gifted cleric
"and especially with no god."
- Is that the sanctum,
did she curse the van?
- "it is so rude when
someone's trying to just chat
"to solve a mystery right at them.
"it's not, that's not the cottage."
- I have a hard time having
a regular conversation
With my friends let alone you.
- "gotcha, okay.
"i'll ease off, i'm just saying.
"you know it's kind of interesting
"because kristen used to worship sol
"and that was god of the sun.
"gorthalax was one of his angels,
"so it just feels interesting.
"well you don't want to be bothered,
So let's go—"
- How did you...
You were my dad's partner.
- "mm-Hmm."
- You're a familiar.
You were my dad's familiar?
No, good, good, good.
That would be crazy.
- "man, kid i got you rattled."
- I'm not paranoid.
- You're normally...
- He didn't even say that.
I'm not paranoid.
- You see she says, "you're
normally a pretty good shot
"but you are taking
some haymakers here kid.
"even if you guess right, do
you think i'm gonna crack?"
- All right, just how,
How do you know my dad?
You were his partner?
- "oh yeah.
"i think the question
that you should be asking
"now that you know how i get around
"is how your dad met me.
"ooh.
"how well did you really
know this guy, right?
"i mean you were a little
kid when he got eaten up.
"i would say that you kind of have no idea
"who your father is.
"but you should see for yourself."
- Oh sh*t.
- Oh-Ho-Ho.
- There are these big iron gates
in the red stone of the pit
And she goes to a section
of wall in between them
And puts her hand where there
is no cleave in the rock
But it somehow slips
behind something, shifts it
And you see
Endless darkness.
It's like looking into a hallway
Where there is absolutely no light.
You see she says,
"i know, walking through
this door would be
"the stupidest thing you ever did,
"so you don't have to walk.
"we're just gonna say it right
here where it's safe, okay?"
You see she says, "but
doors like this in hell,
"the devils don't like doors like this
"that go between levels,
"so you're gonna have
to really try to look
"to be able to see, okay?"
Go ahead and give me a perception check
And she's gonna give you the help action.
- Oh no!
- Oh!
Fig is in the hell mansion being like,
Boy, i really am glad i
brought up riz's dad with him.
That was a really good
bonding moment there.
- I guess i hadn't really
thought about my dad in awhile.
Perception, that's just an 11.
- You see
Down at the end of the hall
The very center of your vision
A little bit of light
And there's something there
but it is extremely bright,
It's not infernal,
there's nothing red to it,
If anything it's a cold white light
Almost like a fluorescent light
But you can't see anything
from this vantage.
- I'm going to...
Still tied up, still tied up.
I'm just gonna go,
Not gonna go on the
other side of the door,
Gonna poke and i'd like to look.
- Oh!
- What, you can poke?
I can poke.
- Come on.
- Look around the corner,
I'm gonna physically i'm
trying to keep my body
On the one side of the door
While craning my neck looking in,
But i want to use the
mirror to see if i can see.
- Okay, go ahead and give
me a dexterity saving throw.
- f*ck.
- On a nat 20 can i have
notice that he's gone at all?
- Should i use the little beans?
- Use the little beans!
- Yes, no!
- I don't know, i don't know.
- I don't know.
- Do it, do it.
- Do the little beans.
- I feel like i'm gonna puke.
- Come on little beans.
- f*ck.
- Never use the little beans again.
- 13.
- 13 dexterity save?
A little bit of the rock wall gives way
And some rock crumbles
And you hear kalina gasp,
She goes.
You see that she looks at you
And for a second you're like,
Was something about to
happen and she goes,
"jesus, you're jumpy."
- I'm jumpy if i talk to somebody.
You should have seen me freaking out
At the hotel the other day,
you were probably there.
You're a creep.
- See she looks and says—
- What is your deal?
- "riz, that really hurts my feelings."
- What is there, what is
the little orange thing?
- You see she looks and
says, "you can't see it?
"no, no, no, that's not
how these doorways work.
"you don't wanna see it because you know,
"you know what's there and
you know what's gonna happen
"if you hold your mirror up to it."
- I hold my mirror up to it.
- You see that there is
A little bit of fluorescent light there.
You see she says, "i can't
help your eyesight kid,
"if you want me to walk away,
"if you want me to hold my
hands up and take 10 steps back,
"but you're gonna have to go down the hall
"if you want to see what that is."
You see she says, "i mean
i can full disclosure"
And you see that she bats at your face
And her paw just goes through you,
And she says, "what the f*ck can i do?
"i'm just in your head."
- Yep.
It's not just you i'm worried
about, we are in hell.
However,
I trust that they will find me if
Something goes wrong here.
So i'm gonna write—
- I will, i will.
- I'm gonna write a little,
I guess the least interesting
of the devil tomes,
And i'm gonna write a note to fig,
That says,
"trying to catch a glimpse of my dad.
"hope this isn't a mistake.
"if it was i'm back here."
And i put it on the wall.
And then i'm just gonna go in.
- Oh!
- Come on now!
- You begin to walk.
You lose sight at the
beginning of the tunnel,
Your rope just snakes back into darkness.
You walk along, you hear
And something kind of
Primal.
You feel things watching you
And you hear
Chitterings off into the shadows.
You walk past them.
You hear other voices too.
You realize that things are watching you
And the chittering noises
are what they are hearing
Kind of from you.
You're a little goblin
slinking down a long dark hall.
The light grows brighter
And you see the reason the
light looks so weird is
You're actually not seeing
the source of the light
And the the air quality
is so bad here, so smoky,
That there's actually a cone of light.
It's like one of those
like overhead hanging lamps
That has like the wide brimmed cone
And a little like pull chain on it.
The kind of you would see in
like an interrogation room.
- Right.
- And it's creating
this pure cone of light
And you see that there is a heavy
Wooden chair
And covered in
Blood and excrement and waste,
His clothes rent over and over
Is a gagged, dazed
Pok gukgak tied to the chair.
- Dad?
I run over and untie him.
- Make a perception
check for me real quick.
- No.
- God damn it.
That's an eight.
- Cool, you rush towards him
And just as you're about
to reach the light,
The rope pulls taut.
If you untie yourself from
the rope, you could go further
But the rope goes taut.
- Come on now.
- You see
Pok is there in the chair,
Head kind of lolling, fully gagged here.
You see that
From outside of the light,
Like somewhere else,
You don't feel any
other beings around you,
It just sort of materializes
outside of the light,
A bucket full of some
liquid splashes on him
And his skin begins to burn and smoke.
- I feel like the rope tugging me
Is a little bit of a wake-Up call.
I'm hoping this isn't real.
I'm gonna shoot the interrogation light.
- Give me an attack roll.
- Come on.
- Yo, why am i rolling so bad.
18.
- She's in your head, that's why.
- Just in case it's like making
an illusion or something.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It's pretty suspect.
- You take the gun
And you see that,
You look and your father's gun
starts shaking in your hand
And a thought enters your mind unbidden.
It may feel in fact alien to riz
As though someone else put it there
And you hear a voice say,
"you know what the kind thing
to do with that gun would be."
- I'm going to holster my gun
And untie myself.
- You hear kalina in your head
Goes, "whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
"kid, if you walk into that light
"you're not in this little
hiding place anymore.
"you will be in the iron city of dys
"on a whole other circle of hell
"from where your friends are.
"you will step into a room full of devils.
"this little viewing gallery
is a present, gratis of me."
- What am i doing?
I pull out the mirror.
- You see the mirror
shows you your father.
There is no illusion here.
- Why is he there?
- "you want to have this conversation
"here while we're looking at him
"or you wanna step outside?"
- I walk back out.
- You walk back out and you hear,
Do you speak goblin at all?
- Yes.
- You hear voices speaking in goblin,
It's like (demonic
chattering), hulking voices
And you see they say,
"confess to us what you know."
And you are removed from there
And you get out to the ledge
And you see kalina waiting for you.
You see she looks and says,
"you don't really think
a dragon eating somebody
"would send them to hell, do you?
"this is the great wheel.
"riz, souls go where
they're supposed to go."
- Why are you showing me this?
What is, you know i
want to free my father.
Are you two working together?
Is that why the devils want my dad?
- "riz, sweetheart.
"look, kristen, tracker,
"these are people that i had fondness for
"but i just met them.
"you're special.
"you were born with me.
"i've known you your entire life.
"i'm like your godmother
"and the fact that you are so
cold to me, it feels hurtful.
"i'm showing you this as a favor.
"i'm showing you this
as a token of good faith
"because here's the thing riz,
"maybe you get into the forest,
"maybe i don't kill all of you right away,
"maybe you make it all the way
"to catch up with the abernants,
"stop them put an end to this ritual.
"maybe.
"maybe you only lose a couple
of your closest friends.
"maybe you go back to aguefort
"and you get to hand this crown back
"to that crazy old coot.
"for him to lose it again.
"or maybe,
Someone comes back
"and if that someone comes back,
"maybe they wrassle up all those demons
"that they've worked with for so long
"and we spring a little
jailbreak for your dear old pop.
"i know the stick doesn't
always work by itself
"but now i'd say you have a
pretty big carrot to consider,
"wouldn't you?"
- Yeah.
Did my
Dad know what you were?
Can i do like a real quick insight check
On her face as i say that?
- Yeah, give me an insight check.
- Come on.
The bad murph rolls are back baby.
As soon as there's a riz
episode baby, can't do it.
Any other episode i'm good.
That's still okay, 16.
- "so funny kid.
"you have an opportunity right now
"to talk to someone who
actually knew your father.
"you were small.
"do you really know how
your dad thought about you?
"he was away an awful lot.
"he was a very handsome
man, gone for a long time."
- I know what happened between you two,
I can do the math.
- "remember riz, your dad was a spy.
"do you think everything
your dad did was good?"
- Obviously not.
- You see she smiles and is like,
"heartbreaking, you know.
"i was with you watching that
little crystal of your dad,
"such a sweet message,
"kind of the only thing you
have left of him, right?
"terrible.
"or when you were with your
friends at the cemetery
"and didn't even mention that
your dad was 10 feet away.
"it's real hard with dads.
"sorry to complicate his legacy but hey,
"it's all about the clues, right?
"got to find the truth no matter what.
"keep digging riz and think
about what you really want."
She vanishes.
- God damn.
- Oh.
- Ugh!
- Wow.
- I have a depressing theory.
- Oh no.
- You know i'm just upstairs,
you can always talk to me.
- Yeah, i guess i'll go upstairs.
- You walk back upstairs.
You walk into the villa.
You see gilear kind of
pouring over the tomes.
You see he goes, "oh, riz."
- Hey gilear.
- "they have a kind of
passionfruit yogurt here
"that's quite nice."
- I would love some
yogurt gilear, thank you.
Guys i did something real dumb.
I did something real dumb.
- Oh hey, sorry i heard riz's voice, what?
- Hey fig, the shadow
cat came and she said
She could show me my dad.
- Uh-Huh and you were like no, never,
I'm not working with you!
- No, i followed, i went down,
I tied a rope, i was real safe with it
But then i cut the rope.
She showed me that my dad is in hell
And he's being tortured
And she had sex with my dad i think and
I'm patient zero maybe?
- Oh.
I'm really sorry.
Where is she and your dad now
And also do we know this is true
Because she's planted a
lot of falsehoods in you.
- I know but i,
The mirror, i brought a
piece of the truth mirror
And my dad is in a
different circle of hell
Being tortured by other goblins.
- What direction?
- Down?
- Yeah, hangman says, "down."
- Okay, so what circle of hell is that?
- It was something with a d.
- Hold on one second.
Oh you see that "the hangman" goes,
"there's only one layer
down, the iron city of dys."
- Yeah so what sin is that or does it not
Line up like this is gluttony?
- You see that the hangman says,
"the seven sins permeate
all nine circles of hell."
- Okay.
- Truthfully i mean kalina's right.
I don't super know my dad.
I don't think that he would
do any of this intentionally
But i do think being...
I do think if he cheated
on my mom with a demon
And then gave my mom a demon sti
And then she gave birth to me,
A little demon baby,
That might get you in
trouble with the devils.
- Yeah.
- So even if he's not the worst,
He could still be in hell.
- Well you're mad at your
dad for giving your mom
A demon sti but if you
think about it this way,
Sandra lynn tried to have sex with gilear
After she knew she had the sti
So she's kind of doing the same thing.
Everyone's just spreading this sti around.
- "i just wanna jump in
to interject if i may.
"the proposition of your
mother trying to sleep with me,
"it was less of a,
"it wasn't a formal sort
of like i think we should."
- It was a fun kind of flirty moment.
- "it was just more of a pregnant pause
"and then we kind of cut it off.
"i don't want to but i don't
want to paint your mother
"in a light of, you know it was like
"we were having a very
intense conversation
"and there was a moment where
there was a lot of healing
"and there was a lot of
closeness and intimacy
"and then you know, it's
maybe there, maybe there's.
- Gross.
- "gross?
"i'm very uncomfortable
"and a lot of this has
magical ramifications."
- Gilear, it's fine!
It's fine gilear!
- It's fine gilear, it's fine.
- "i'm sorry, i'm sorry, i'm crying."
- Do you want to go see your dad because—
- I don't think...
- 'cause maybe you could ask your dad
Some of these questions.
- I don't think we can save him easily.
- Talk to the prisoners of hell.
- Maybe gorthalax can help
us if we can get him back.
- Or do you know who's also
down here is bill seacaster.
- You see that the hangman says,
"master fabian ordered me to
send word to captain seacaster
"and word i have sent
although it is hard to tell
"if one has reached captain bill seacaster
"because he is actively being pursued
"by all the armies of the nine hells."
- Right.
- Right.
- Oh sh*t.
- What a perfect person
to bust out my dad.
- Yeah, let's try to find bill seacaster,
We'll bust out your dad and
then we'll get some answers
And if he's a piece of sh*t
Then you can deal with that later.
- I saw him, he was in a rough way.
I think that whatever he did
That he's paid for it and
we should just get him out.
- All right, yeah.
- There's no yeah,
there's no level of bad,
He's my dad, i just wanna get him out.
- Yeah, absolutely.
- Yeah.
- And i also think that it's
very possible that she was,
Yeah i bet there's,
I know it messed up to say
But there's probably people down here that
Would have done relatable but bad things.
- Yeah, yeah, i think maybe
we can talk to bill seacaster.
- Okay.
- You see that the hangman says,
"i have done my best to
send word but perhaps."
You see that wretchrot speaks up and says,
"m'lady.
"seeing as you are the current beldam
"of the bottomless pit,
"perhaps you would light the beacon.
"this would allow at
least captain seacaster
"to know where the
message was coming from.
"perhaps light a little signal fire
"for the arch devil himself."
- Lighting a beacon in
hell, what could go wrong?
- "so much!"
- Should we?
Yeah, let's do it.
- You see that there is—
- We don't need kalina
to get him out, okay?
Just don't let her pretend like
That you need her to get him out.
- You see that there is
a black spinning wheel
Like an old sort of like loom
spinning wheel in the corner
With like a pin sticking out of it
And you see wretchrot says,
"simply prick your finger
"on the pin of the spinning wheel
"and the beacon will be lit."
- All for you riz.
- Please don't say that.
- You see the wheel spins.
And you see fire flashes
through all of the mirrors
In this little villa and
a roaring flame belches
From the bottomless pit
and shoots up into the sky
In the midst of all the bodies falling
To the bottomless pit.
- I light another cigarette on the beacon.
- You see the hangman says,
"the beacon lit, let us hope
that those potentates don't,
"i don't know, get mad at us."
- If they do, i'll just be like
I was looking for a lighter.
- Yeah, quit being a nerd hangman.
- Hangman, let him have this.
Hangman, let him have this.
What did he just do?
- "all right, i'm intimidated all right."
- Take him for a ride hangman.
- "hop on, the ball."
- Just sobbing on the back of the hangman.
- Cool.
Go ahead you guys and make
one last investigation check
For me if you'd be so kind.
- Come on.
- sh*t got wild in hell.
- Yeah.
- 12.
- Ay!
- 29.
- Oh, you got something
Really good, okay.
- 29.
- Wow.
- You discover a clause
that pertains to mortals
Can ascend to the throne of an arch devil
If they are direct
descendants of that devil
And perform a coup.
Now everything in the language
around performing a coup
Seems to imply fatality,
That you kill your thing,
But you actually find on
a 29 a little loophole,
Which is the actual operative
language is simply defeat.
If you'll recall—
- You defeated him.
You already defeated him.
- Oh, 'cause i put him in a gem?
- I'm just sobbing.
Yeah, you already beat him, it's a clause.
- Oh!
- Saving clues will help.
Solving mysteries helps.
- You're right.
I am the rightful king of hell.
- Gilear says—
- Or at least of this little house.
- Gilear says, "okay i'm
gonna step in as a parent now.
"we're gonna all eat and
we're gonna drink some water
"and we're gonna lie down, okay?"
- We found a clause gilear.
- "i know you did riz, it's all right.
"i know you did, i know you did."
- Everyone's dads are frying in hell.
- Yeah.
- Great, we're going to
jump back to arborly.
Cool.
Arborly gang, what are you guys doing
After the aguefort call?
- Yeah i had a thought, which was
We bought all of these ingredients,
Hallow, we'll go to the hallow.
- Cool, you guys go to the hallow.
- We bought all of these
ingredients to make
A tincture to get kalina out of our heads.
Why did my mom buy those ingredients
If she's working with kalina?
- So that the ingredients they have
Are also for that same thing.
- Right but why is she
trying to get rid of kalina
In her head if she's working with kalina?
- Wasn't it that these
are the things they bought
To perform some kind of ritual
And there was just some overlap
with regard to the tincture
That we needed to make
And we actually still
need more ingredients
That are inside of the forest—
- But that one key
ingredient, the mushroom.
- What is it?
The mushroom.
- Sandra lynn says, "what?"
- Nothing.
- Nothing.
- Adventure stuff, no—
- Science, science!
- By the way, can i have
a couple little baggies?
- Yes, we can deal with that later.
- Here's my wallet you asked for it.
Did you want to hold my wallet?
- I don't want to hold your wallet.
- You can hold my wallet.
- Do you wanna just hold it?
- I don't wanna hold anyone's wallet.
- I think this is how a drug deal happens.
- Listen!
- I think.
- Here.
- Listen.
What?
What if your mom
And your sister are doing the
exact same thing we're doing
Where they have to trick the shadow cat?
- No.
- Hold on.
Wait.
- Like they have to be outwardly mean.
- So they're like on,
we're all on the same team?
- I don't know, i mean—
- But it seemed like
your mom was so obsessed
With this character from
looking at her notes, right?
- Yeah.
- It seemed like, can we
look at those notes again?
Can i?
- Yeah.
You guys we don't have
to go over all of them.
Arianwen did extensive study
Into the nature of the shadow
cat, the nightmare king,
Her notes were pretty comprehensive.
A lot of of the unnamed goddess like...
- So this is a roll you know,
Feel free to say no,
But this is like an empath roll
So like can i relook at these
notes and see if i feel like
A little bit of love or obsession here
Or is this just strictly info?
- I will allow you to
make an insight check
With disadvantage.
- Oh, okay, okay, yeah.
- I'll help kristen on this one.
- Okay, so it's a straight roll
To get an empath read on
someone through notes.
- I can pick up on vibes.
- Ooh, this is such a
Kristen applebees' moment.
- Like i know this person even though
She's very hard to read.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Cool, let's see it.
- So wait, so wait.
Should you be doing the rolling,
You know your mom more than me.
- Wait, how high is your insight?
Because mine is six.
- Oh mine, i'm good on that.
- Oh great, then i'll give
kristen the help action.
- I've seen her.
- Cool, let's see what you roll.
- Okay not bad, 24.
- 24.
- All right, okay.
Wait advantage, oh no, you're right.
Are there like little hearts
around shadow cat and me.
- You don't find anything
In the notes like that.
- Lipstick stains.
- With a 24 and you're
looking for like love
Or like devotion in these notes?
- Yeah, 'cause it doesn't quite make sense
Why she's going against all
of the other high elves.
- Why she's going against all
the other high elves, exactly.
You look at this,
With a 24 insight there are
leaps that arianwen makes
In her research that
are just too damn lucky.
- Mm-Hmm.
- In other words it looks like
As she was researching all this
That some other entity that
knew a tremendous amount
About this subject matter was helping her
Research the entire time.
- Oh, okay.
You know that person themselves.
- Maybe that person themselves.
- Yeah, maybe it's like,
You know when a celebrity
writes their autobiography
But there's somebody else who's
actually doing the writing
And they just meet for
coffee like six times
And tell them their stories.
- Yeah.
- Is she, your mom was a ghostwriter.
- Yes.
- For portia de rossi.
No, okay.
- Sorry portia.
- Well i'm never gonna
see shadow cat the same,
It's just portia de rossi now.
- Someone please make
a super cut of all of
Ally beardsley's pop-Culture references
Throughout this season.
If you told me at the beginning of the day
I was gonna hear the name portia de rossi,
I would have said no f*cking way.
- No, but if you were gonna
hear from portia de rossi
Who at this table—
- Ally beardsley 100%, yeah.
- Absolute.
Big fan, big fan.
- I wrote this down earlier
And i don't know if it means anything.
- Okay.
- But the demonic text
That was like researched
by i think your mom.
- Mm-Hmm.
- We talked about the
infernals and the warlocks
That helped set up the barrier.
- Yeah.
- That was requisitioned by pok gukgak.
- Oh from the library?
- Yeah, right?
- Well also we were talking about
The spell book being a coin
But if the sanctum is also a curse,
If the coin is a cursed coin
And then the sanctum is also a curse,
Maybe i'm over thinking things.
It's so confusing.
- There's a lot going on.
- You see tracker speaks up and says,
"well if this was like a witch goddess,
"witches primarily deal in curses
"so it's not necessarily unusual
that a lot of curse magic,
"i mean, because a curse is
kind of just like a pejorative
"for a certain type of magic, right?
"because a curse can be enchantment,
"it can be transmutation.
"so it's possible
"if..."
Tracker's gonna make a roll.
Yeah, tracker looks up and says,
"yeah there's a lot.
"yeah, it'd be great to know
"to be able to talk to either arianwen
"or to know what it was
the pok requisitioned."
- I mean i can, should i talk to arianwen?
It seems crazy.
- How would you do it?
- Oh well, i could sending to her
And then i cast this spell
that ayda aguefort gave me
Where i put a key in her pocket
And then we go to this
honestly rad crystal place,
Like a meet in the middle situation.
- Does it seem like scary/dangerous
If in fact she decides
to like hoodwink you
And mess you up.
- That is the thing
that i'm worried about.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
- I mean and i can't take
anybody else in there
I don't think, it's just a wizard thing.
- You get a sending message from ayda
Saying that she would love to,
Message from ayda that
says, "hello adaine.
"cast find familiar, wonderful spell.
"may i teleport to arborly?"
- Yes, please do absolutely.
Hell yeah, what what familiar did you get?
I'll see, i'm excited, your friend adaine.
- In a flash of fire
ayda aguefort appears,
Everyone make an insight
check that's in arborly.
- Yeah, 26.
- 26?
- 17.
- Kristen, hasn't slept,
Just like tweaked a little bit.
- Oh wow.
- Hi ayda.
- "hello.
"friends, adaine hello, good to see you."
And you see from behind her giant wings,
A sphere of water with little
sort of
Comes out and a full tropical fish
In a floating thing of water swims out.
- I love it!
Can i put boggy in the sphere of water?
- Boggy is so happy in
the sphere of water.
Boggy and this fish
immediately start playing.
See the fish, also the
fish appears very serene
But does have a very wide eyed expression
And you see ayda says,
"the familiar has been extremely helpful,
"thank you so much for—"
- What's the name?
- "i wanted to give it
a very special name,
"but i couldn't think
of anything as clever
"as boggarial froggarial.
"i named it in honor of,
"it's the name of sorry.
"the name of my familiar is
garthy and adaine the fish."
- I love it!
- Garthy and adaine the fish?
- "i wanted to name the fish
After two very important
people in my life.
- I thought it might be
something like fig jr,
But who knows.
- Oh, yeah.
- I guess i see where i f*cking stand.
- Ayda says,
"i thought it would be overly
"if i named i didn't want to
"because it was my understanding."
- You can call it gaf.
- Gaf?
- Gaf?
- Guardian adaine fish, gaf.
- "that is many fewer syllables."
- Yes.
- "yes, absolutely."
- And then in formal situations—
- "guardian adaine the fish, yes.
"gaf.
"gaf, gaf, gaf rolls off
the tongue more easily.
"an immense improvement,
"an incredible wizard and
thank you for your help.
"we need to get fig right now."
- What, why?
- Why?
- I mean we do want to
get her but i mean—
- Out of hell?
- Is there a specific reason?
- "you've done something with your face."
- We're just wondering is there something,
Is there some business that
she needs to attend to?
- "did i not tell you?
"there is a high probability that myself
"and fig are girlfriends.
"it remains—"
- Ooh!
That is great!
- Woo!
Wow, i did not think we were
gonna get there so quickly.
I thought we were gonna have
to tease that out of you.
- "why, did i say it too quickly?"
- No, no, you said it perfect.
- You said it exactly the right speed.
- Being straight forward is the way to go.
Welcome to the family.
We shake hands.
- You see she says, "what family is that?"
- When you're here, you're family.
It's called being gay.
There's a weird amount of breadsticks.
- Adaine is taking notes.
Wow, breadsticks, okay.
- You see ayda looks up and says,
"yes, kristen is of
course correct i am gay
"and i would like to get fig
back as soon as possible.
"are there any other issues i can clear up
"before we dive into
the discussion at hand?"
- It's not as fun when they just say it.
- What's our plan?
- "are we trying to optimize for fun,
"should i have made this more fun?
- No, no, just never mind.
- You know what is gonna be fun?
- What's that?
- Fig.
- Okay, yes.
- "why will fig be fun?
"what have you done?"
- Because fig's really fun.
- Skateboard.
- Yeah.
- "you're putting an emphasis and meaning
"on things under the surface
"and i would like you
all to speak plainly."
- Everywhere that fig
is she tries to set up
A real quick teen corner
and i like that about her.
- So just to be straight forward—
- Or an adult corner sometimes.
- Sometimes it seems like fig is shy
About her personal relationships maybe.
- Mmm.
- Where that's maybe where—
- Or she thinks she's shy and
is actually extremely open
In a way that's very sweet.
- "i agree she's the
sweetest person i know."
- Aw.
- Wow, this is very cute.
- You're in it now.
- This is very cute.
- So we can't get into
hell, that was the issue.
- Yeah, we did get blocked by thorns.
- You see she looks and says,
"very well, can i show
you guys my research?"
- Yes.
- Scrolls cover the place,
All this like compass
points stuff spreads out.
- Does anyone want a yerba mate?
- Oh my goodness, i would love one.
- No, do you still have the—
- "i would love an yerba mate."
- Here you go.
A gord for you?
Oh!
- Not a cortado?
- No cortados.
- You see that ayda says,
"i have locked down the compass points
"and put rawlins in charge
"and given him a magical blunderbuss
"so the library is closed for the moment.
"i have taken all our most
powerful offensive spells,
"brought them here as
well as begun research
"on a plane shift spell."
- Awesome.
- Wow.
- "i'm sorry, gaf has been a real help.
"i didn't rest at all last night
"because i've been working the
research as fast as possible
"i think the fastest,
"i just need to destroy
these devils, it's fine."
- No, no, no, we don't
need to destroy any devils.
- Ayda, are you okay?
Feel like you're really stressed
out and i don't know that,
I think we want to be
our most cogent selves—
- Yeah, i understand though.
If tracker was in hell, i
would probably be weeping
And i like rub ayda's firey back.
- You feel incredibly tense muscles relax
And she fully starts crying.
- Yeah, it's scary.
- "you know i have more
than one lifetime of notes
"to sample from and in none of them
"did i ever find someone like this.
"so i know that it's very early
"but it's very special and—"
- I pull an ice cream sandwich out
Of kristen's ice cream sandwich bag and...
- "what is this, it's colder than normal."
- It's an ice cream sandwich.
It'll help.
I also eat one.
- "an ice cream sandwich?"
- Yes, i'll take one as well.
- Here you go, yeah, i
have unlimited so anyone?
- It immediately gets melty
As it gets close to her firey face.
She bites and goes, "this
is the best sandwich
"i've ever had."
- Yeah, isn't it delicious?
- "what is this?"
- It's ice cream and cookies.
- Yeah.
- 'i don't know what ice cream is."
- Oh it's—
- Cold milk.
- "cold sugar milk?"
- Cold sugar milk.
- "i don't know why i've been
on leviathan this whole time,
"where you come from if it
has these that seems great.
"oh, i haven't eaten in a long time."
- Oh, let's get you some food.
I think there's still
some cold frittata around.
- Yeah, there's a lot of warm shrimp.
- And shrimp.
- The crab's not good anymore.
- Yeah, it's pretty stinky.
- Don't eat the crab.
- "i won't eat the crab."
- It's been outside in the sun.
- I come up with a little frittata
That has some feta cheese on the top.
- She eats it.
"life is significantly
better around you all."
- Aw.
- You're great.
- "you're great."
- "how's your research?
- "it's going very well.
"i want you to know that
i know that i seem upset,
"but i'm not upset.
"you were the first person
to find out apparently
"that fig and i had kissed.
"these devils likely don't know that fig
"is a wizard's paramour.
"they don't know the horrible
mistake they've made.
"they don't have a terrible vengeance
"that will be brought down on their head,
"they don't know.
"it's not personal, they're
doing what devils do.
- The devils didn't kidnap her.
- She went in willingly.
- Yeah.
- We could start an
all-Out war against hell,
But since our plate is still pretty full
With trying to stop—
- Yeah, i don't know we're
looking into extra credit
For our spring break right now.
- Let's not undervalue the abilities of
Everyone who went into hell—
- To come back out?
- Yeah.
- "no, i understand."
- Why don't i sending to fig right now?
It can go across planes, right?
Sending?
- I believe why don't you look that up
As adaine opens her spell book ayda says,
"i know i'm not, you know.
"if i had thought ahead i
would have sent missives
"to all the planes of the great wheel
"that the wizard ayda aguefort
"had come into the contact of a paramour
"and that none should harm her
"lest they face the wrath of a wizard.
"i should have done that.
"i didn't think to do
that, but ultimately—"
- That's kind of the step one
In your first queer relationship.
Just a big world wide warning.
- Not just one world, all the worlds.
- Yeah, yeah.
- "but it's important,
"i don't hold a personal
vendetta against the devils.
"i don't want to torture
them or teach them a lesson,
"i'm just going to unravel them.
"i'm just going to take them apart
"into their component ideas
"and discard them at the
edge of time and space.
"i'm going to, if any
of them have hurt fig,
"i'm just going to erase, no
erase is not the right word,
"because when you erase
something there's still—"
- I can send to fig.
There's just a 5% chance of it failing,
But i'll take that chance.
- Yeah, it's not so bad.
- "great, great, great.
"go ahead and—"
- What do you want me?
- I say, dear fig, we're here with ayda.
- Fig, you sneaky little bitch.
- Yep, fig you sneaky little bitch.
- We're here with ayda,
She wants to invade hell, you good?
Ps, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!
- Pps, and then do we have
enough room in sending
To kind of explain this like dragon curse
That might be the host.
- It's 25 words so we're
probably like about 18 into it.
- And just pps dragon madness.
- Pps dragon madness 69.
- Pps ask kalvaxus about dragon madness?
- Ooh.
Sure.
- Great.
- Cool, fig you receive that.
- Okay so what is the message i received?
Like what actually made the final cut?
- Fig, you sneaky bitch.
We're here with ayda.
- Let me just roll my d100 to make sure
That it gets through.
Just to do my due diligence, yeah it does.
- Cool, great.
- Fig, you sneaky little bitch.
Ayda's here, she wants
to invade hell, you good?
Ps ask kalvaxus about dragon madness.
- Okay.
- Pps, ooh!
- Oh yes don't forget the ooh.
- I think from that i
don't think i would know
That you know, right?
You sneaky little bitch.
Ayda is here, i don't
think i would be like oh,
They're on to me.
So i think i would just—
- They're mad at us for going
in the hell without them.
- Yeah, i tell riz.
Yeah that's what that's what
adaine is implying, right?
Why is adaine emphasizing the
ayda thing i was wondering.
- I have no reason to
believe anything else,
Right?
- I don't know, what else would you think?
- Cool, glad that we're just being honest
With each other about everything.
- I'll see you guys later.
- I haven't told you a lie.
- Okay.
- Since we've been in hell.
- Quesadilla time.
- Quesadilla time.
Quesadilla time!
- I guess...
I'm gonna just...
- Tell them to come
here, right, if they can.
- I guess i'm gonna say,
Cool, i hope you're having fun with ayda
But not too much fun.
- What?
So many words.
- But not too much fun.
I hope it's more fun when i'm there.
- You're blushing, you're
blushing right now.
- I see your mouthing to yourself
and i'm just like no, no.
- I'm king of hell now.
Finding bill seacaster
and saving riz's dad,
Will swing by kalvaxus.
- What!
- A million miles outside of 25 words,
I'm pretty sure.
- And yet none of them told
them that we need them here.
- I mean i don't know what
they were trying to imply.
- Should we tell them to come here?
- Yeah.
- So that was a first draft.
- Okay, first draft.
I'll go back to,
Cool, that you're with ayda,
Have fun but not too much
fun lol, is one word.
No, but really.
I'm king now.
Looking for, what am i at?
- You're at 18.
- Riz's dad and seacaster.
You could join?
- 25!
That comes back and as soon as you see,
"you could join?", ayda
looks at that and says,
"she wants us there, she's being polite."
- She's king.
- Hold up, yeah.
- What the f*ck did that mean?
- You picked up on the wrong things.
She's king?
Also did they say they're
looking for riz's dad?
Riz's dead dad?
- Riz's dead dad?
- In hell?
- In hell!
- Hold on is she king
of like a shrimp party,
Is this some sort of weird brag?
- Maybe it's a disguise.
She's currently disguised
as a king of some kind.
- Oh, that's probably what it is.
- Yeah.
- All right ayda, how do we get to hell?
Let's do it.
- "well it's very simple.
"we just simply don't have the time so—"
- Don't say—
- "well we don't have the
time to research plane shift.
"i need a couple more days and
by then it might be too late.
"so what we should do is
"you are students of the
aguefort adventuring academy."
- Yes.
- "if you were to call upon him
"to arrive to send up
a warning as a student
"i could potentially
steal his watch from him
"and pause us long enough
to research plane shift
"in enough time to get there right now."
- Okay, so we're gonna call aguefort
And jump him.
- We're gonna fight arthur aguefort?
- And that's how we get to fig's kingdom?
- The man grew to 80 feet tall
And pulled the sun out of the sky
And you think that we can
distract him for long enough
To steal his watch?
- Can i sneak away and call aguefort?
- Yes, you can.
Ayda has once again launched into a thing
Where she's like, "look it's very simple,
"there are lots of magic that devils
Just won't be expecting.
"you know you can use
their true name and again,
"i just want them,
"i don't just want them gone from reality
"i want the space they occupied in reality
"to be gone as well."
- Okay, that seems like it would create
Some kind of power vacuum
That we don't necessarily need to be doing
Since fig does sound—
- "i think it's important
to draw firm boundaries!"
- Whoa.
- I hear you, i think that
Fig sounded fine and if fig
wasn't fine, she'd tell us.
- "okay.
"she lies about being
middle-Aged women sometimes,
"maybe she's lying about being okay
"or maybe a devil is
forcing her to say that."
- She doesn't lie to us though.
- "okay, that's good."
Gorgug, you step outside.
- I mean sometimes
She keeps secrets.
- I'm sorry just to clarify,
Do we actually want to get
the watch from aguefort?
- I mean, yeah i mean, we can try.
- I'm gonna peel off and and
just give aguefort a call.
- Cool.
Rings a little bit,
"hello, this is arthur aguefort."
- Hey arthur aguefort,
this is gorgug speaking.
- "or is it gorgug's desk?"
- Pressing one, press one.
- "hello?"
- Is this the real?
- Yep.
- Okay.
- Hey, professor aguefort,
I was just calling because
So we're in the middle of
our nightmare king stuff
And we're also working
with your daughter ayda.
- "you're working with ayda?"
- Yeah, she's helping us.
We're in a bit of a pickle
And i don't want to overstep
But i think your daughter
Would benefit from a
relationship with her father.
She's seemingly pretty lost in some ways
And i think that although
she's very powerful
I think that,
I don't know,
Are you a part of her life at all?
- "this is very surprising.
"has she asked you to
deliver this message to me?"
- No, this is just sort
of what i've noticed
From the outside because i feel like
It is a tough thing to be
looking for your parents
And seeking something there.
It's hard and she's admitted
That she's basically raised herself
And over and over again.
And also can we borrow your watch
I think is the the other thing?
Because she was suggesting
that we steal it from you
And i don't think that
any of us want to do that.
- "no, you don't want to
steal my watch from me.
"i would bring down such
thunder upon your heads."
- Okay yeah, i bet.
- "i will be happy to come and help you
"if ayda wishes it.
"300 years ago ayda told me
to never contact her again."
- Hmm.
- "i assume that she has
reconstituted since then
"but i was,
I've never been a very present man.
"excessive time travel
does leave one feeling
"largely unmoored i suppose,
"but no, that moment is
crystal clear in my memory.
"i suppose if she has
changed her mind or—"
- Well she's in you know,
If she's constantly coming back,
Then whoever said that
is not who's here now.
- "i understand she made it quite clear
"that she would leave notes instructing
"her future self to
"if i am wrong, i am wrong.
"by all means, please tell...
"i rather don't know how to handle this.
"she wants to reach out to me
just for the use of my watch
"is that correct?"
- Well right now we were
looking to borrow the watch
So we could pause time,
research plane shift,
Go to hell, get our friends,
come back from hell,
Keep doing the nightmare thing.
- "sounds like you guys are doing great
"on your spring break."
- We're just kind of running out of time
And i'm honestly so exhausted.
- "i understand.
"by the way i over heard
that you did the right thing
"with zelda, that's
really good call my guy.
"well done."
- Why did you hear that?
- "i was at that party."
- You were at that?
- Oh no.
- Wow.
- Creepy.
- Is it like a teen party?
- No, no, no.
- "yes, i needed to make
sure my students were safe.
"i was disguised as an owl.
- Oh no, not an owl!
- That's so much worse.
- Oh no.
- So much worse.
- "they made me the beer pong mascot."
- Oh boy.
- Oh dear, oh dear.
- "i was on a perch mid line,
"i was calling sides."
- That seems pretty fun i guess,
If i at a party and there's an owl
Just being the ref of the beer pong game.
I would enjoy that.
But look, look, look.
Would you just, can we just skip ahead
To where you lend us the watch?
- You see that he looks at you and says,
"it seems like what ayda wants is a watch
"and perhaps i don't know."
He says,
"i'm doing something right now."
- Cooking or?
- No, he holds his hand over the watch
And you feel a weight
in your hoodie pocket
Of his watch appearing.
You see he says,
"i've set this for seven days,
"which should be enough time if ayda
"and young miss abernant
are working together.
"i suppose mention what
i've told you to ayda
"and if she wishes to reach out to me
"or if she wants me to reach out
"i suppose mention what
i've said to ayda."
- Wait, the 300 years thing or which part?
- "yes."
- Okay yeah, i will.
- "i very much appreciate that thank you."
- Of course.
- He says, "goodbye gorgug."
- Goodbye.
- "after the seven days are up the watch
"will return to me so use your time wisely
"and i will speak with you soon."
- Okay.
Wait, you're not cooking though?
- "i have a panini on a small grill,
"but i wouldn't call that
cooking necessarily."
- Give yourself credit where credits due.
- Maybe we should buy
gilear a panini press.
Maybe he can become a panini guy.
- Don't buy gilear a panini press.
- I just think that maybe he could
Just diversify his diet a little bit.
- Cool, you walk back
inside as ayda is there
With everybody else.
- Sup, guys.
- So the shrimp goes down the lobster,
Flips off the tail,
catch it in your mouth.
Last one to eat nine—
- Nine shrimp.
- And then you move on to the next eat.
- If you lose you become a living shrimp
And you have to walk around
saying i'm a living shrimp.
- Sandra lynn, says, what
did you learn outside?
- Oh.
- What's up?
- So i had a good
productive phone call with
Your dad.
- "oh."
- What?
- "you went outside to call my dad?"
- We don't have to beat him up?
- No, no, no we're not—
- Damn it.
- Is he on his way?
- He gave me.
- Whoa!
- Oh, okay!
- Wow.
- And just so you know, he said that,
I don't know how you feel about it
But he said that the last time you talked
Was like 300 years ago and stop me
If i'm saying something you already know,
But you didn't want
ever talk to him again.
And if that's not true he said that like,
You could reach out to him
or he could reach out to you.
Just throwing that out there.
I don't want to stick my nose
too far into your business.
- "sorry, 300 years?"
- That's what he said.
- Ayda sits down, starts crying and goes,
"i really wish fig we're here.
"i didn't know i was that old."
- Oh.
- Well you're kind of not.
- "i have notes from
three previous lifetimes.
"they go back about 150 years
"and the very earliest note
"starts with an apology
"because me or she
"destroyed all of my previous notes.
"she said she wanted to start over,
"be someone new
"and then decades later she regretted it
"and started keeping notes again.
"i hate her so much."
- You can't hate yourself.
- "yes you can, it's very possible."
- No, i mean it only hurts
yourself if you hate yourself.
- "then in that case
someone a long time ago
"made a decision to try
and get away from something
"and then made that
decision for every person
"after them as well."
- Well, i mean maybe next time around
You can give yourself notes that say
That you're allowed to make
whatever choice you want.
- Yeah, it's really kind
of you can think about
How much change you want to
make in hundreds of years
And that is really overwhelming
But if you think just each time
It gets a little bit better.
- Yeah, you just have to be
better than your parents.
- Exactly yeah and for some
of us that's really easy.
- But in this case your parent is you.
Yes.
- She laughs.
- Yeah, me and kristen are—
- I mean i could just stop now.
- We're really doing great yeah.
- I've already brought the
family line forward twofold.
- Oh, yeah.
- But for you, just your next lifetime
And your notes can be a little bit gentler
And a little bit more positive
And it could make a huge difference.
- Gorgug's gonna have to work really hard,
His parents are amazing.
- My parents are very sweet.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Cool parents.
- "i will process that in my own time."
- Do you want to pretend
like fig is impersonating me
And hug me?
- She comes over.
- I don't want to kiss you
But i just you know.
- Tracker looks over at you and says—
- I just need tracker to know
This isn't a sex thing.
- Oh my god, would everyone
Stop hitting on my freaking girlfriend!
Stay away!
- I feel like fig would be pretty happy.
- I think gaf is really great,
But find familiar, you can
have all kinds of familiars
And i'm just...
As a thing that maybe
you could think about,
Something cuddlier than a fish.
- Oh yeah, something you can touch
Because if you're fire,
I'm sure if you touch the
fish it would be a panini.
- She looks a fish and says,
"oh, a more cuddly animal.
"yes, that makes sense.
"something that you could hold."
- Or like a really soft
barbecue briquette.
- Oh, cute.
- You see she says—
- Or a marshmallow!
- Like a salamander.
- She says, "i would like to
get started on this research."
- Cool.
- Right.
- We got seven days with
this and then it'll get—
- Great, do want me to come with you?
- He'll take it back.
- She say, "i brought what we need here."
- Oh great.
- Awesome!
- "so we can do this right here."
- Let's do it.
- Amazing.
- Anything else we should do?
- Yeah, wait all of time's
just gonna be frozen
For seven days?
- You see she says, "yes, all of time
"will be frozen for seven days."
- I wanna kind of go,
If anyone is free i would love,
Anyone but tracker unfortunately,
I would love to go look at that—
- Oh, the shrine.
- The shrine again, yeah.
- Remembering that
sklonda was able to walk
Through all of elmville
during the time freeze,
Back in freshman year,
You will be able to go
investigate that shrine
In the seven-Day period
if you stop it right now.
- Love it.
- Great.
We do have to make sure i
think that the gate is open
Because we won't be able
to open and close the gate
If time is stopped, is that right?
- What gate?
- Can we open like aren't
physical objects stopped
Or am i wrong?
- There is some ability to
interact with physical objects.
- Just wanted to clarify that before we.
- You,
Hit the watch.
Adaine and ayda hit the books
And start to research
the plane shift spell
As time is frozen.
As you guys are doing all of that
We are going to go back to hell.
- We're frozen.
And we're just gonna be
here for like 20 minutes.
- Back in hell,
So you find this clause here.
- You beat him and you didn't lie.
You said and that it was vague,
That he was defeated or something.
- Yeah.
- So you can't even get in
trouble for lying in court.
- Yeah.
- You guys hear a sort of
hellish like deep bell ringing
Elsewhere off in the pit
And you can feel that the tribunal
Is being called back to order.
- All right, shall we?
- Yeah, skateboard in.
- Motorcycle in.
And i make the noises while
i ride an actual motorcycle.
Vroom, vroom, vroom.
- I make some motorcycle noises for fun.
Vroom, vroom, vroom.
- Very cool.
Hangman comes in, you see
that vraz the mean is there.
Taps the thing.
You see kaistrana the chained
And lorzug the impaled.
You also see
That vraz is once again
looking at a little
Sort of crystal infernal thing like god.
Tap, tap.
"once again blozo will
not be joining us today.
"blozo said that he's waiting
at his infernal domain
"because he got a window
for people coming to repair
"part of his castle and they
could be there anytime today,
"so he's just got to stay there."
- So it's truly hell.
- Yeah.
- "once again calling the
dark tribunal to order
"in the case of gorthalax the insatiable."
- Actually my litigator, riz gukgak
Has some new information.
- Yes, we were doing some research
And we believe our
friend fig here qualifies
To take over gorthalax's estate.
- "under what clause?"
- Under the clause that i'm his daughter
As was exhibit a,
Baby is my blood.
And i did this.
- "i'm called baby now!"
"baby wanna bottle!"
- I hate that he embraced it so much.
- I invited everyone down here
But i don't think i can
have anyone see me like this
So actually maybe i'm
gonna close off hell.
And then the second clause
is that i defeated gorthalax.
- You see that kaistrana the chained goes,
"are you suggesting that
this was some sort of coup?"
- Yes.
I physically put him into that gem
And therefore defeated him.
It was my hands that did the deed,
Thus defeating him, so give me my crown.
- Go ahead and give me,
Because you've litigated this correctly,
Go and give me a
persuasion with advantage.
- Oh god.
- Come on hache.
- Hache!
- Ooh yeah!
- Okay, oh wait.
I'm just gonna go with that.
That is gonna be a 30.
- Oh my god!
- That was way too much!
- Oh my god.
- What was that?
- It was 17 and i had
plus 13 to persuasion.
- Okay.
- Ah geeze, 13.
- You see vraz looks over and says,
"oh, give me a f*cking break!
"oh my god!
"so you committed a coup."
And you see that lorzug the impaled
Kind of twists his head to
look at vraz and go
And she goes, "fine lorzug!
"okay, so you're what,
"the new lady of the bottomless pit?"
- Regrettably yes, it's not a pit
I'm proud to be the lady of but yes.
So give me my hell passport.
- "give me my hell passport."
- That's not an insult.
Just repeating what someone
said is not an insult.
Hiss at her litigator.
- You see that kaistrana says,
"that hiss has been recorded
in the official notes."
- Motion to hiss.
- Motion granted.
- You see that vraz goes, "fine!
"you're so special with
your little bass guitar,
"if that purple in your hair
"are you different from the other girls?"
- Actually i think the most
different thing about me
Is that i don't try to be
different than the other girls.
- "ugh!"
You see that she literally barfs lava.
"fine!"
You see that vraz gets
up walks around and says,
"as executor protentate
of blozo the undiminished
"our secretary i hereby
bestow upon you dominionship
"over the bottomless pit.
"do you accept the role of arch devil?"
- I go up and whisper in her ear.
- Yeah, hold on i need to confer.
- This feels so f*cked up.
I don't want everyone to
freaking come down here
And me to be like hey, i'm the arch devil,
Look at this bottomless pit, i'm bad!
- Seems pretty rad.
- So as my litigator your legal advice—
- My legal advice would
be this is super rad.
- Yes.
- This is really cool.
- "okay then by the power invested in me
"i invest you with dominion
over the bottomless pit."
She leans him real quick and
smooches you on the lips.
- I barf now, i barf up lava.
- You see that your lips
literally catch fire
And she puts a thumb on your forehead
And you just hear
And a upside-Down
pentagram appears briefly
In flame on your forehead.
- This was not part of the deal!
- "this literally how this
has to happen legally."
The pentagram fades, the
fire fades off your lips,
You may mark on your
character sheet by the way
As an arch devil that you now,
Your resistance to fire
Has now become full immunity to fire.
- Damn!
- Wow.
- And you also have resistance
Against poison damage as well.
- Nice.
- Wow!
- Sick.
- Nice.
- Hanging out with an arch devil.
- You see vraz goes back
up to her seat and says,
"very well, your two
litigators are free to go.
"however", she looks over at the hangman.
This hellhound was not originally
summoned from this domain
And must be returned to its proper owners.
- What?
- No.
- I'll bring it.
- You see she says, "oh that
won't be necessary my lady.
"it will be brought."
You hear a voice coming up
from the back of the courtroom
And you see a devil walking up.
You guys give me a perception check.
- Come on.
- Come on.
- What's going on?
- Little beans, little beans.
- 15.
- 11.
- Should i use a luck point, 15.
Should i use a luck point?
- How many do you have?
- Three.
No?
- Probably not.
- Okay.
- How many do you have left?
- I still have three.
- Okay.
- I haven't used any.
- Yeah, why not.
Or 15s pretty good.
- 15s pretty good, yeah,
i'm not gonna use it.
- You don't want lose it, yeah.
- You look at this devil walking up
Very calm sort of red scaly devil
That has a legal scroll,
Is like walking into the proceedings.
This devil looks perfectly healthy
But you notice that it has a limp.
There's something like
wrong with its left leg.
You see that the devil
walks up to the front
And vraz says, "hello."
The devil looks and says, "good evening.
"we be filing an injunction."
Puts the scroll into the
hand of vraz and says,
"under what law?"
And you see the devil says,
"the law beyond the scroll."
She unfurls the scroll and she goes,
"the law of the blade?"
And the illusion fades
And captain bill seacaster
Plunges a sword.
Bill looks insane.
Instead of an eyepatch, it
is just a glowing red ember,
His teeth are all smoldering coals,
He's got one giant lava sword
And two arms coming off the left side
So he's got one right arm,
A giant scaling boney hooked arm up here,
And an arm wielding a flintlock pistol.
You see he stabs through the scroll
That's in front of her face,
Punctures her porcelain face and goes,
"fig, me girl!
"you're in the heart of mind
for a shanty."
- I take out my bass, let's do this!
- The roof collapses in as
pirates smash through the ceiling
From a flying ship made
out of a red dragon above
And you see that bill seacaster
swoops you up in his arms
A bunch of horrifying singed
burning hell zombie pirates
Grab the rest of you
including the hangman.
The hangman goes, "captain
seacaster you saw our beacon!"
And whew, you guys alight into the sky.
You see that bill,
Fires a flintlock pistol
back at the remaining devils
In the tribunal as the ship
Wheels off into the fiery sky.
What do you guys do as
you land on the deck
Amidst all of his various pirates.
- I land on my skateboard
and do a sick trick!
- He goes, "that's right girly!
"a sick trick it be!
"oh, and i don't believe you've seen
"my new fine ship have you?"
- No.
- "well we owe you some honor miss faeth
"for you see our ship is a thinking ship
"and when we christened it anew,
"we asked it what name
would bother it the most?
So welcome aboard the goldenrod!"
- It's kalvaxus!
- You've seen the prow of the ship,
Which is just kalvaxus' head
Turns around and says,
"oh no, no, no."
- Don't look up my skirt you perv!
- Captain seacaster permission
to pee on your ship.
- "oh permission granted, ball!"
- Stop looking up my skirt you perv!
- You see he says, "oh,
a pervy dragon he be!"
He grabs a rope, swings over there,
And smacks the dragon with
the flat of his blade.
See the dragon, "please no, not again,
"anything but these children i beg you!"
- I've heard of a poop
deck but a pee deck?
- Nice.
- I say that to everyone
else for no reason.
- I think you're a little psychic.
- Incredible.
So you see the captain
bill looks around and says,
"we saw your beacon good and clear.
"we've had a devil of a time
reading these nine hells.
"do i see they're hidden under the flesh,
"a little burning insignia
on your forehead me girl?"
- Yeah, i'm a arch devil now, i suck!
- "an arch devil and why
would you think that sucks?"
- Because i rule over a domain of a pit
That swallows murderers
and liars and thieves
And i don't know how
i'm gonna explain that
To everyone up there.
- He grabs you
And brings you close, he
reeks of blood and cinder.
He brings you real close and again,
It's just burning eye and
his coal teeth, as he says,
"you have to have a dominion?
"no, you don't have to have anything.
"i am a being of pure chaos
"and i reside here in the nine hells
"and who can stop me?
"oh their little scrolls
and laws and signatures.
"there's only one law lass
"and you know what that law is."
Sching!
- The law of the blade?
- "the law of the blade!
"yes, fire your gun!
"all right, we've got you
now, where to me lassy lad?"
- Well, sylvaire.
- "sylvaire next or?"
- Lower level of hell,
we gotta get my dad out.
- Yes, of course, i'm so sorry.
We're going to save pok gukgak.
- "oh, your pa's here?"
- Yes, yes!
- "well, i would love to
meet your good old pa.
"we can talk about how our two boys
"have become such good friends."
- Yes, we're best friends.
- "ah, that you are.
"all right, we're going
to the second level.
"the iron city of dys!
"let's have those cannons
at the ready lad!"
You turn around and see a young tiefling,
The back of his skull is missing.
Almost like it was chewed through
And there's just a ball of fire
In the basin of his empty skull,
Whips around covered in gold and says,
"aye, aye sir!
"oh, hi there!"
- Hi, good to see ya.
- "it's me, alistair.
- Alistair.
- You made it alistair!
- Guess you had a happy ending.
- You made it?
- The dream!
- "it's a dream come true!"
- It's a dream come true,
So actually fabian did you
and your friends a solid.
- "oh, if i ever see
fabian, i'm gonna kill him.
"i'm gonna kill him for sure."
- Cool, cool.
- "absolutely, but it's amazing,
"i'm a pirate, i'm a part
of the crew of the goldenrod
"and it only costs me about
50 gold pieces a month."
- You're paying to be here?
- You're still paying?
- You see that bill has
taken the helm and goes,
"he's being paid in exposure!
"he'll be able to work on any pirate ship
"after he works here for a
thousand years!"
- He's interning on a pirate ship.
- You see alistair says,
"make the guns ready!"
And you see up at the front kalvaxus goes,
"oh not—"
And a big canon comes out of his mouth.
- Can i start scratching
graffiti into kalvaxus?
- You absolutely can.
You see bill says, "i love it!
"mr ash take em upside down."
And you see that kalvaxus
begins to fly into the sky,
Turn upside down, the
gravity remains the same,
And he says, "take her under",
And you see that kalvaxus begins
to head for the sky of fire
As fast as he can.
- See, you didn't need kalina.
- We are going to cut back,
As crazy it is to arborly.
- God.
- Aw.
- Incredible.
- Fig wouldn't forget to
ask about dragon madness,
After i explicitly sent her that
Very clear message about it, right?
- It was the pps, everybody reads the pps.
- Pps is the most important part.
- It's the last thing you read.
- Yeah.
- I skip to the end of the letter,
Check the pps, go read
the letter for context.
- Yeah.
- Incredible.
For those guys in arborly,
Is there anything that
you guys would be doing,
You would investigate the shrine.
- I would like to, yeah.
- Go ahead and just give
me an investigation check.
- Can i give them help actually?
- Yes, you can.
- Two 13s, is that lucky?
- Wait, so we're here for seven days.
- Yes.
- Yeah, you have a lot of time.
- Can we just have some
bardic inspirations?
- Yes, of course.
Yeah, i do a lot of pulling
people in the sheets,
I believe in you spring break.
I believe in you, spring break.
I believe in you, spring break.
- Oh my gosh, thank you.
Oh, so that's a 14.
- Oh, you can add a d6.
I'm just a d6.
- Don't sell yourself short.
- One day, one day i'll be a d8, one day.
- Four, all right.
Baby,
That's an 18 honey.
- An 18 investigation.
You go back and find a lot
of the same stuff there.
It's a pretty ruined
abandoned type of place.
- Can i start drawing this face
that i'm seeing on the wall?
- Yes.
- Can i do a sketch of it myself?
- As you do you remember that dream—
- Yeah, that's why i want to do it.
- Go ahead and make a
religion check for me.
- Hell yeah, that comes with advantage.
Ooh.
That's pretty good, 20, not nat.
- 20 not nat.
Your spirit guardians
begin to appear around you.
You see
They look at you in their
spectral little coffee shop tables
With their little cortados.
Someone looks up and is like,
"what you drawing there kristen?"
- So this is a god
And this i think is the
only picture of this god.
- "oh, all right."
You see that one of them says like,
"yeah, i guess for like academic reasons
"it's good to like draw it but you know.
"just another god.
"this is another thing that's sort of fake
"or doesn't really matter."
- I'm actually, i'm interested
in the tenants in a real way,
I could see maybe getting
really into this god.
You know tracker has a moon
And then this is a sister,
I could see that working
really well, yeah.
- "working really well?"
- This could be my god.
- You see this one says,
"working really well."
You see another one says,
"nothing works really well,
"that's the point.
"nothing ever works.
"there's always something
more to criticize."
- I'm not you guys,
I didn't want to say this
But i might be moving on from this phase.
Cortado, the everything's wrong.
I might be a yerba mate person
And looking for maybe some sort of truth
And trying to follow
it, not helio, you know.
- You see that one of them says,
"there is no truth."
You see that another one turns
to the one that said that
And said, "well that's a
pretty absolute statement.
"there definitively is no truth?"
And you see that a third
one looks and says,
"well don't criticize that,
"because you're doing that
"from the same place of certainty that
"that person's doing it."
- Yeah, see what i'm talking about here is
You guys are all talking in
like some big marble chamber
With big books and like
i want to have like kids,
I want to be a good friend to my friend,
You know what i mean?
It's just like in the little
minutiae of real human life
I think i need some more answers then
Everything's wrong, everything's broken,
Let me drink a cortado
alone in this coffee shop.
- Those guardians are released.
There's a fear of knowing that like
Those spirit guardians won't
answer your call again,
You'll need to find new ones,
But you also feel your shoulders relax
As you realize that with
those spirits around you,
You always have your shoulders tense
Because no belief was beyond reproach
And there was never a
conviction you could hold
Without the fear of seeming
stupid or silly around them.
- Yeah, totally.
- That's what you find, you return.
- Was i able to draw this?
- You were perfectly able to draw this.
Tracker, who cannot enter the shrine
Is able to look at this drawing.
- Cool.
- And she gets really emotional
in a way that's sort of
Just like not like sad or anything.
She's just like you know look
you get just raw emotional,
Just like a lot of feeling.
She's very emotional and is like,
"i don't know why,
"but i think that's really
important that you did that"
- Cool.
- You guys return to holly hill
At the end of this sort
of magical seven days,
Ayda has calmed down pretty significantly.
Adaine, you're like a very
good presence for her.
- Just rolling my portance.
- Yes.
You guys—
- Could i have tried
to have gotten smarter?
- Tried to have gotten smarter.
Give me a flat intelligence roll.
- Okay negative one to this.
- Do you have any bardic?
- Of course he does.
- Oh yeah, spring break.
- Spring break, i believe in you.
- 17, wait 16.
- 16, 17.
What's your intelligence right now?
- Eight.
- Your intelligence goes up to nine.
- Wow.
- Ooh.
- Well done reading books.
- Can i do the same?
- No, you may not, only zac.
- Only zac, i love it.
I could just see your character's face.
- If it makes you feel any better,
The eight and nine have the same modifier.
You see that the end of that week—
- My pencil doesn't work.
- You guys finally you have researched
The plane shift spell,
Which ayda is powerful enough to cast.
- Yes, i am not.
- During that period of time
As you guys are researching
that spell very feverishly.
In some of like the downtime breaks,
You notice that ayda is working
like a little side project,
Just like a little small thing.
You don't see it, she's
like hides it away from you
But she's like working on something
That she won't tell you about.
But you guys finished plane
shift at the end of that week
And you see,
You guys prepare to plane shift.
Are you plane shifting
with every single thing,
Are you leaving like the hangvan here
Or i assume you're like plane
shifting with just like...
- Just everything.
- It's up to eight people.
- Can i check in with
the hangman before we?
- Yes, hangman?
- "sire, we need you
right now, right now!"
- What, what?
- "right now!"
- Why didn't you say
something to me earlier?
- "i forgot we could do this, i'm sorry!"
- So did i kind of.
- Where is our goldenrod?
- Wait, what's happening, where are you?
We froze time for seven days
And are coming directly
to where ever you are.
- You see that ayda casts plane shift.
It's sandra lynn, baxter, ragh, tracker.
And then the four of you,
Hangvan's being left
behind and you guys appear,
In a blast of flame
Standing suddenly on the upside
down deck of the goldenrod.
- What?
- You look all the way up at the helm
And you see monstrous stuff.
Again like huge like
akira like devil armed
With a boney hook, ember eye.
You see the devil of your
father look down and go,
"my darling boy!"
- Oh papa!
- "look out!"
And you see alistair ash swings
a sword right at your head.
"i'm gonna f*cking kill you!"
- Oh alistair, i'm sorry
i've come a long way.
- I'm gonna need everyone
here to roll initiative.
- Oh-Ho-Ho!
- Okay.
- I got advantage.
- Six.
- Keep your rolls recorded right now.
You see as alistair starts
swinging at fabian wildly,
Hosts of devils start to pour
out of the bottomless pit
As vraz the mean points up at the sky
Whirling after you.
You see that ayda looks
over at you and says, "fig!"
- Ayda!
- "i told everyone we
kissed, was that normal?"
- f*ck!
You see she says, "all
right there's devils coming.
"it's important, you're important."
She just takes a light like descends,
Is upside down spreads her wings
And opens up a portal that you
see is not phoenix fire magic
But nautical signs and you see that
She begins to open up a nautical portal
And pure ocean just starts pouring
On to the plane of avernus.
- Wow.
- Ayda, what are you doing?
- "i'm going to flood hell.
"this is the top and it
only goes down from here."
- I don't think that this—
- No, we can't we have to
get to the second level.
We have to save, call off the water.
We have to get to the second level!
- I've changed!
- "you're gonna die!
"you're gonna work here
on the ship with me!"
- Are you using a sheath,
don't use the sheath.
- "i'm gonna keep you pinned to the deck
"and i'm gonna get chungle down
bim to sh*t in your mouth!"
- All right, f*ck this.
- You see that all of you begin to sail.
You see that the captain says,
"fight him off my boy,
you can fight him off!
" all right you keep that half phoenix
"working that ocean spell.
"and besides i wouldn't
worry about these devils,
"with the amount of money i'm making
"it's not just one ship
that have to worry about."
Peeling out of the sky of fire
Dozens of hellish pirate ships
made from dragon carcasses,
Rock carcasses, all these
giant flying creatures
Pirated by these cinder zombies
Begin to pour out of the sky and he says,
"to the second level
"and lay waste to all
the damn souls therein.
"to war me hearties!"
And that's it for this week.
On fantasy high.
- Truly, what the hell?
- W-T-H.
- We were just hanging out.
